THE WHEELBARROW

         THE WHEELBARROW 

At the end of a long work day, an employee was leaving his factory, pushing a wheelbarrow through the gate to head home. Inside the wheelbarrow was a small box.

The security guard stopped the man and said, “What have you got in your wheelbarrow?”

“I’ve got a small box,” he said.

“I know you’ve got a small box,” the guard said. “What’s in the box?”

The worker replied, “The sawdust from the floor. At the end of the day, it gets swept up and is thrown away. I needed some, so I put it in the box, and I’m taking it home.”

The guard looked inside the box and sure enough it was filled sawdust. He sent the worker on his way.

The next day, the same thing happened.

The third day, same thing.

And the fourth day.

On the fifth day, the worker again came through with a wheelbarrow and a box of sawdust. This time the security guard said, “It’s you again with your wheelbarrow and your sawdust. I’ve got a feeling that you’re up to something. I think you’re actually stealing something. Look, why don’t you tell me what you’re stealing, and I promise I won’t report you.”

The worker said, “All right. I’m stealing wheelbarrows.”

Our lives are often a bit like that. We’re so focused on a small box of sawdust that we never notice the wheelbarrow carrying it. In other words, we can be so distracted by the little things in life that we miss the bigger picture.

KNOW THY SELF!

             KNOW THY SELF

We are triune beings. We each have a physical, emotional and spiritual aspect to our identity. To be happy, it is important to be healthy in each if these areas. We need to maintain balance in these three areas. To create and maintain balance I suggest we ensure that our needs in each of the three areas are being met. To meet our spiritual needs we can cultivate a relationship with our creator. We can read and study the holy scriptures on a daily basis. We can regularly worship and pray. 

For our physical needs (that's needs not desires) we can keep ourselves in the best possible physical condition for our age and physical dexterity. 

To meet our emotional needs, we ought to get to know ourselves, we should ensure that we are only in healthy relationships. If not healthy, we need to change the relationship or end it. We can maintain a calm, focused and balanced emotional life. When we are feeling down, negative, stressed, anxious, out of sorts, or out of balance, I recommend taking two simple and specific actions. 1) Change your environment! Go outside, go for a walk, go for a drive, go to a different room, etc. when we change our physical environment we change our mental state which results in a change in our feelings both physical and emotional. 

2) Change your thinking process. Keep this simple. Instead of thinking about what you want or need, take a few moments and think of at least 10 things for which you are grateful. Change your point of view or perspective in a situation. Ask yourself,"what can I learn from this?"We can also change our thinking process by asking,"what would _________ do in this situation?" Think of a mentor, or a hero, someone you respect and admire. What would they do?  These two simple actions help restore emotional balance and help us to get to know ourselves better. 

1) Change your environment. 

2) Change your thinking process. 

It is by small and simple things, great things are brought to pass. 

DEFINING MOMENT

         DEFINING MOMENTS

The caterpillar goes about its business, and lives the life that it knows, the life of the caterpillar. At some point in its life, it begins to build a cocoon around itself. It closes itself off from the outside world for a little while... closes itself off from outside influences and opinions. And while it is inside the darkness, it becomes acquainted with its true self, and out of this true self, without anything being added from the outside, without any special education from the external, comes the butterfly!

We each have within us the potential of greatness! To be someone totally unique with amazing and specific talents. There comes a time in our lives when we must choose. Whether to be what circumstances, opportunities or the lack thereof, and those around us say we should be, or... we can become still, and listen. Seek within ourselves and discover the unequaled person we are meant to be. It's a DEFINING MOMENT in our life!

A GREAT DAY

       A GREAT DAY

I enjoy a great day!  I would imagine that most people enjoy having a great day. The best days I've ever had all have one thing in common. I was totally focused, completely absorbed in what I was doing. I wasn't stressing or worried about tomorrow, I wasn't regretting yesterday, I was in the present day. When we invest ourselves in today, completely, we create the environment and conditions for joy. 

“Look To This Day 

For it is Life, the very Life of Life. In Its brief course lie all the Verities and Realities of your existence; 

The Bliss of Growth;

The Glory of Action;

The Splendor of Beauty;

For Yesterday is but a Dream,

And tomorrow is only a Vision: 

But Today well lived makes every Yesterday a Dream of Happiness, and Every Tomorrow a Vision of Hope. Look well, therefore, to This Day!”

PAIN, A NOT SO GENTLE REMINDER

PAIN, A NOT SO GENTLE REMINDER

I enjoy a clear sun shiny day, it lifts my spirit and invigorates my soul. When I am met with a day that is overcast, dreary, dark and cloudy, I remind myself that the sun is still there. Time does not stand still or stagnate. Time continually moves on, moves forward and in doing so constantly creates conditions for change, growth, progress and joy. I was recently thrown into a situation that reminded me of the importance of these principles. I was awakened early last Sunday morning by the most severe abdominal pain I have ever experienced. For hours I suffered trying everything I knew to relieve the pain but to no avail. Every passing minute seemed to be unending. Time was not my friend! Finally, my sweet wife took me to the hospital emergency room. My wife being an ICU nurse facilitated my getting rather timely attention and assistance. Then began the questions, the examinations, the diagnostic tests of blood work, x-rays, CT scan, ultrasound and physical examinations all the while giving me dose after dose of the strongest pain medications yet relief was not found. During this process the OnCall surgeon was brought in to consult as well. This amazing and gifted man was so gentle and concerned. I knew by reputation that I could trust him.  I've never before experienced a doctor like this. He was truly what one thinks of when you think of a physician. He genuinely expressed concern and would with a gentle touch reassure me that he would not rest until I was okay.  All the activity culminated in an emergency surgical procedure to find the cause of such intractable abdominal pain. With patience, confidence and skill, the gifted and intuitive surgeon finally located the unique and obscure condition within my  abdomen causing the severe pain and intervened with the surgical procedure to correct it. As I have passed through the minutes, hours and now days of recovery I have been in awe of the healing process. Feeling a little better each hour and day I can envision my return to good health. No longer is my vision of health impaired by the storm clouds of severe pain. I know that beyond the clouds restored health is shining brightly. When the disasters strike. When the challenges arrive. When the impossible is dropped right in front if us blocking our path, let's remember that we have not changed. Life has not changed. A temporary situation or conditioned has simply occurred. That same eternal physician who was there with us on the sunny day is still there with us when the clouds arrive. The great physician will help us through whatever spiritual, emotional or physical surgery we need if we will but remember He is there and call upon Him for help, wisdom, relief and peace. 

A CRUISE

                 A CRUISE

 

I recently had the opportunity to go, accompanied by my wife, on a cruise for the first time in my life. I've had a week now since our return to collect my thoughts. 

In the early hours of this morning I was reflecting on one night in particular of the cruise. My wife and I had strolled up to one of the upper decks of the ship. We walked outside and sat together on one of the deck chairs. Holding my sweetheart in my arms, we both sat silently as the sea breeze blew into our faces. I looked at the reflection of the moon on the water and gazed all around me where I could see nothing but ocean as far as my eyes could see. For a moment I felt so small, aware of my nothingness compared to the great Atlantic Ocean. I then recalled the words of the psalmist who wrote,"When I consider thy heavens the work of thy fingers, the moon and the stars, which thou hast ordained; what is man, that thou art mindful of him?"

It was a humbling and almost lonely feeling that crept into my soul. I continued gazing out at that now dark and ominous looking sea. I thought of a stormy and tumultuous sea commanded,"peace, be still." by the Master. I thought of his teachings, the worth of a soul, we are literal spirit children of a Heavenly Father, 'what I have done Ye shall do and more.' I felt such a warmth and peace. I no longer felt so small. I was reminded of the great worth and potential that rests within each of us by virtue of our spiritual DNA.  Regardless of the temporal circumstances of our birth or any earthly obstacles, we are each capable of great things. Let's live like we believe it!

A MOMENT

           A MOMENT

Have you paused at all today, to appreciate the simple things? We frequently hear reference to the importance of being grateful. We are presented with lists filled with examples of the things for which we should be grateful. I have recently been impressed with the importance of pausing and briefly meditating on the things in my life THIS DAY for which I am grateful. The things in our present day and even the present moment. Things like; the sunrise, knowing I have a Heavenly Father, the feeling of clean socks on my feet, a warm shower, fresh clean towel, the smell of a dryer filled with recently dried clothes, smell of freshly baked cookies, a vehicle that starts up immediately, a vehicle with air conditioning, the smile, laughter and hug when greeted by a grandchild, a tiny child napping in your lap, a spouse's smile, a hug, a personable and polite employee at a drive through window, a comfortable chair, the sense of taste, the ability to read, living in a free country, the powerful gift of thinking, and pondering. 

These are but a few of the things in THIS DAY for which I am grateful that I have written down in the moment. 

There are so many more things for which we can be grateful in this very day. There is power in gratitude. There is learning in being grateful, there is peace, and healing. 

Take a moment, pause, ponder, heal. 

WHO AM I?

WHO AM I?

I've worked as a psychologist for some 30 years. Clients have shared a wide variety of reasons for seeking help. Several shared the following; they said,"I feel like I'm a fraud. I feel like I'm just pretending to be who I am and no one knows the real me. I live in the constant fear if being discovered."

Are you living an authentic life? Are you genuine as a person? Do you convey to others a person you think they want you to be? Do you live only as a reflection of the people around you so you'll fit in? Sometimes we fear being rejected if we are our true selves. We automatically believe people wouldn't like us, so we create a persona to be when at work, or church, with friends and family. The reality is, you were designed to be unique, you were not meant to be a copy of anyone else. The universe, the world, your community, even your family need you to be who you truly are. When you drop the facades, you begin to live an honest life and the ever present pressures and fear disappear like a vapor. We will reflect in our behavior some of our life's  influences. The miracle of individuality blossoms when we respect those around us by respecting ourselves through living a genuine and honest life. What life are you living?

REST AREA AHEAD

  REST AREA AHEAD

If you've traveled on the interstate highway system in the U.S. you saw signs for 'Rest Areas.' These are generally nicely constructed areas with immediate and easy access just off the interstate that have public bathrooms, well lighted parking areas, usually vending machines and in some areas even onsite security personnel. These little oasis' were built to provide drivers a place where they could literally stop and rest. A safe place to get out of the vehicle, stretch, walk around, have a snack or even take a nap. When utilized, it allows drivers to remain fresh, attentive and alert during their travels. A rested driver is a safe driver. An added benefit is that when you are rested, you can enjoy the journey so much more. You notice the beauty of your surroundings, the changing landscapes, the sunrise or sunset. 

We are each on a journey. Our daily lives are made up of changing landscapes, different weather, even sunrises and sunsets. On this journey, the changing landscapes may be watching our children grow from toddlers into young adults. Perhaps the arrival of grandchildren. The final days and passing of a parent, a loved one, a childhood friend. Whether our journey involves actual travel across the country or is within the walls of our homes, we each have a unique journey. If we hurry and push all day long just to get through and to get done, we may miss out on some of the most precious moments or landscapes on our journey. If we just press and stress forward with the highway fatigue of life, we miss the whole point. Our journey is meant to be enriching, filled with periods of laughter, moments of tears, even silent solitary times of learning and understanding. Please, take the time to pull into the 'Rest Areas,' of your life. It will enrich your journey beyond anything you can imagine. The 'Rest Area,' signs will look something like... a child filled with excitement wanting to tell you all about it 'right now.' A teenage daughter with tears in her eyes, confused at why her boyfriend decided to break up. The gentle touch of a spouse hungering for some time with you all alone. A blossom filled tree you've never noticed before. A friend in tears from laughter. A rain storm that sounds so relaxing and causes the air to smell so clean. A wonderful meal at a restaurant where you took the time to savor each delicious bite. Watch for the 'Rest Area," signs. Take the time to pause, enjoy, and regenerate. You may be amazed at how scenic your journey. You can choose to enjoy your life! 'Rest Area Ahead.'

THE GIANT

           THE GIANT

The towering enemy strides into the Valley of Elah. He stands 9 feet tall, and his coat of armor, made of many small bronze plates, glimmers in the sunlight. The shaft of his spear is wrapped with cords so it can spin through the air and be thrown with greater distance and accuracy. Goliath looks invincible.

But David knows better. While Goliath may look like a giant and act like a giant, in contrast to the living God he is small. David has a right view of his Heavenly Father and therefore a right view of the circumstances. He sees Goliath as one who is defying the armies of the living God. He confidently appears before Goliath in his shepherd’s clothes, armed with only his staff, five stones, and a sling. His confidence is not in what he has but in who is with him. 

What “Goliath” are you facing right now? It may be an impossible situation at work, a financial difficulty, or a broken relationship. With your Father in Heaven all things are small in comparison. Nothing is too big for Him.  Have you spoken with Him lately? By simply closing your eyes and bowing your head you can be immediately in His presence. Talk to Him and then take the time to listen to his reply. With God, you are always in the majority!

SMALL AND SIMPLE THINGS

  SMALL AND SIMPLE THINGS

It’s one of the simplest and most powerful principles on the planet. Can be applied remarkably quickly to most    

situations. Works really well and gives disproportionate    

rewards. If you are not using this as part of problem    

solving, goal achievement or planning process; you are missing out. In fact you are almost certainly expressing    

too much energy, and getting less than optimal results. 

The principle I’m referring to? The Pareto principle also known as the 80/20 rule. In it’s most basic form it says: 

80% of the output is produced by 20% of the inputs. 80% of the consequences are generated by 20% of the causes. 80% of the results are created by 20% of the efforts. You’ve probably heard that before. But have you asked yourself: 

  "Which 20% of my actions are creating 80% of the results I experience on a day to day basis?" Let that question sink in. Even further. When you do, you will start to see    

opportunities to work less and get more, far more often. 

The name of the game becomes...  How can I get greater return with less effort and having more fun? 

Thankfully you don’t need to have super-powers to be able to leverage this law. It requires only that you become more curious about cause and effect… causation and    

consequence in your own life. 

And willing to do a little thinking up front. The great news is, this law can be applied anywhere. For example take the context of a personal    

problem you are facing. 

If you’ve got an area you are struggling with, ask yourself: 

Which 20% of my actions are creating 80% of my problems? This powerful question presupposes that there    

are a small set of actions that are generating a disproportionate part of the    

problem. And guides your super-smart brain to dial in    

on those. Are you doing a lot and getting little in return? Are little actions/behaviors causing you major problems? Could a small or simple change make big differences in your life?Make a change. Simply do something different. By small and simple things great things are brought to pass. 

THIS MOMENT

         THIS MOMENT

Unhurry yourself, learn to be where you are. Enjoy the present moment. Fully experience the present moment. Your children aren't in the future, they're here, now. The sunrise or sunset isn't in the future or in the past, it's now, this moment.  A Moment Is Designed To Be Tasted. Your day should be savored, not gulped down. Your life is a special and glorious gift from your Creator. Today is a collection of Moments. Display each as the  Golden Prize from God Himself. Do not rush through them. Stop long enough…to drink deep from The Cup of the Moment. View each Moment as a wonderful Fountain. Stop. Stand still. Take a deep drink from the sweet waters of the Present. You see, Today is really the only place you will ever exist. When you arrive in your future, you will rename it…Today. Yesterday is in the tomb. Tomorrow is in the womb. If you do not know how to enjoy the Today that exists, you probably will enjoy few days in in your future. As the singing group The Who so wisely once stated,"no matter where you go, there you are!"

IN A HURRY!

      IN A HURRY!

We get convinced by society and media sources that to be responsible we should always be in a hurry. That is simply nonsense! Hurrying ignores the present. Hurrying rejects rewards hidden in the present. Hurrying creates the illusion of completion. 

Many years ago, a young couple became obsessed with finding gold. They sold their little farm and launched their search. It became a lifetime of wasted effort. They eventually ended their searching in England, bankrupt. Years passed. They finally accumulated enough money and help from

friends to return to the United States. After arriving, they decided to revisit their little farm, the birthplace of their gold search. A strange scene welcomed them. They were forbidden to enter the area. Government security was everywhere. Why? Their little farm had become

government property because it was now…the second largest gold reserve on the North American continent.

In their hurry to search for gold, they had not even examined their own property!

Unhurry yourself. Live simple, steady and deliberate and you'll get so much more accomplished than if you hurry.  All too often, we get in a hurry and look for success and happiness "out there" when it was "right here" all along. We missed it because we were in a hurry!

SLEEPING OR AWAKE?

  SLEEPING OR AWAKE?

A Native American elder said recently,"Everybody's hurrying but nobody's going anywhere. People aren't living they're only existing. They're growing away from spiritual realities. These days people seek knowledge, not wisdom. Knowledge is of the past; wisdom is of the future. We're in an age now where people are slumbering. They think they're awake, yet they're really sleeping. But this is a dangerous age, the most dangerous in human history. People need to wake up."

We have become a people who let the media, politicians and celebrities tell us not only what we should think but also how we should feel about any given issue. We are discouraged to think for ourselves. We are told to be politically correct. If we think for ourselves we may have a different opinion and that may make others feel uncomfortable. 

I believe that out of discomfort comes growth, strength and greater understanding. Think your own thoughts. Begin by stepping away of the hurried rush of life. Slow down, practice gentleness and through simply being, you experience your own thoughts, gain balance and become whole. 

BRAIN LANGUAGE

      BRAIN LANGUAGE 

In order to take control of our brain, we need to understand the language of the brain. Our brain processes all input via our five senses. We label and process our experience as pictures (visual) sounds (auditory) feelings (kinesthetic) taste and smell (olfactory). We have each developed a primary representational system. Some of us think primarily in pictures, some think primarily in feelings and so on. The system we use determines the words we choose. A visual person may be heard to say," I see what you're saying." "I can picture that." A kinesthetic person may be heard to say,"I'm not comfortable with that." I feel good about that." It's important to become aware of your brain language and the brain language of others. When two primarily visual persons talk, they establish quick rapport and they easily understand each other. When a visual person and and a auditory person talk, they are literally speaking two different languages and have a more difficult time understanding each other. Once you've learned to shift your language to that of the person with whom you are speaking, you have great control over your own life. You also know how to better communicate with yourself. Ask someone to describe their living room. A visual person will draw you a picture in words of the rooms layout and furniture appearance. A feeling oriented person will use words describing how the room feels and the feel of the furnishings. Be aware of brain language. It gives you back greater control on your life. 

FAMILIAR ATTRACTION

FAMILIAR ATTRACTION 

Another unique way our brain works is that as human beings it is in our nature to be attracted to that which is familiar. People remain in unhealthy relationships because that is what they know. We also have a natural fear of the unknown. So often, we will continue in misery because we believe, " the hell I know is better than the hell I don't know." Abused children often run away from foster care back to the home of abuse because that is what they know and therefore there is no uncertainty. A person may wonder why they continually get into relationships with the same type of unhealthy person.  They  are attracted to people who turn out to be controlling, an alcoholic, abusive, etc. It is being attracted to that which is familiar. We have been taught for years that the strongest inner need of man is the need to survive. I believe our strongest need is to seek out that which is familiar. It doesn't take long when looking at clouds to begin seeing shapes of things 'we know'. 

How do we take control of our brain? How do we break the cycle of being drawn to negative or hurtful familiar things? Stated simply, we need to change that which is familiar. This can be accomplished by taking small intentional steps outside our comfort or familiar zones and learn new things. Read about people or situations with descriptions of behaviors and values that are new to you. Visit groups and places with people who are different from your typical experience. Take some time and evaluate past relationships and situations  identifying common elements. Those are the familiar things. Once you are 'aware' of what it is that's 'familiar' you know where to begin to make changes. That's half the battle. Change one element in an equation and the answer or outcome will change. Take control of your brain by "changing" the things that are "familiar" to you. 

WHY ARE YOU DOING THAT?

WHY ARE YOU DOING THAT?

In learning to control our own brain, it's important to understand why we do what we do. A significant aspect of that is what motivates you. What is it that gets us to do the things we want to do and the things we must do but maybe don't really want to do? That would be motivation. 

As human beings, the way our brain works is, we are motivated in one of two ways. We are either motivated by moving 'toward' something we desire / want or we are motivated by moving 'away' from something we don't want / desire and are seeking to avoid. Some people are motivated to get up out of bed and get to work to 'avoid' being fired from their job. Other individuals are motivated to get up and get going because they look forward to the work they do. Some people buy flowers for a significant other on their birthday to 'avoid' an argument for having forgotten or disappointing them. Others buy flowers for their significant other because they love to see the surprise in their face or enjoy the feeling of making them happy.

Take control of your brain by becoming aware of how you are motivated. Then start choosing how you will be motivated. Assess the different areas of your life. How are you currently being motivated? Are you moving 'toward' something desired or 'away' from something feared or undesirable? Negative motivation robs our creativity and reduces our quality of life. We can change the nature of motivation by changing our thinking. Maybe you don't like your job, but you enjoy the freedom the paycheck gives you. Explore that area as a beginning to a shift in motivation. The moving 'toward' motivation is most powerful and continually opens new vistas in life. It gives you greater flexibility and control in your life. 

So, WHY ARE YOU DOING THAT?

LAW OF REVERSED EFFECT

LAW OF REVERSED EFFECT 

Our brain / mind is forward moving / thinking. It is always moving in the direction of our dominant thought. A key principle of controlling our own brain is to focus on getting the brain to "do" something, not "stop" doing something. If I say to you,"don't think of the color blue". What is the first thing you do? You think of the color blue in order not to think of the color blue. So then it's too late. Instead, if I said,"think of the color green." What do you do? You think of the color green. Control the direction of your thinking by continually thinking of what you want, not of what you don't want. If someone says to you,"now, don't be angry but..." What does your mind do? It immediately accesses being angry. Once again, it's too late.  My son used to spill his milk all the time. I was continually telling him," son, don't spill your milk!" What was I actually doing? I was ensuring he'd spill his milk. When I changed what I was saying to, "son, keep your milk in the glass unless you're drinking it." Amazingly, the spills stopped! The principle, get the mind to "do" something not "stop" doing something. Focus on what you really want, not on what you don't want. 

OUR BRAIN

               OUR BRAIN

I think it's safe to say that we all have a brain. I think we all also know of someone who causes us to wonder if they have a brain. Our brain operates according to some basic universal principles. When we are not directing our thoughts and running our own brain, our brain is being programmed  and run by someone or something else. Other people's comments may be running our brain, we may be continually reacting to their spoken expectations. Television and radio may be determining how we feel. It's as if someone else is driving our bus. They may have the best of intentions but they may not be driving where we want to go. It's time to take back control of your own life. We can do this by first learning how our brain works. Then applying the principles in our own lives. We can choose how to feel. We can decide to change a behavior. We can decide who and how we want to be and become that person. Over the next few days, I'll share some basic principles of how our brains work. You can test / apply them right away and experience the amazing results. It's time to drive your own bus!  It's time to start using our brains for a change. 

A THOUGHT ON THOUGHTS

  A THOUGHT ON THOUGHTS

A small and simple thing that is very powerful is a thought. The thing to remember about thoughts is that we become what we think about most of the time. Where you are today, what you are today, is the sum total of all the thoughts that you've had. If you remember, feelings, actions, outcomes, they all start with thoughts. So what you've thought up until now has got you to where you are today. That same process is working right now second by second, this very moment.  If you want to make a change, you need to change what you're thinking, and how you're thinking. An important fact is that what dominates your thoughts influences your results. What you think about most is affecting your results. Now here's where it gets real interesting. A simple yet extremely powerful key is that you've got to start thinking about what you're thinking about. We do this by asking ourselves questions like, "Why do I think that?" "Why am I saying that?" "Why do I feel like this in this situation?" "How do I feel about feeling angry?" "How do I feel about feeling frustrated?" So the place to begin is to start thinking about what you are thinking about!