A NEW YEAR

A NEW YEAR

This evening I will stay awake to welcome in the new calendar year. I will not be part of a large gathering or some grand New Year's Eve party. I won't be with family or friends. My best friend and sweetheart, my wife, is working this evening. She is an Intensive Care Unit nurse at the local medical center. I will, instead, enjoy a quiet, pensive evening reflecting on the past year and contemplating, a little, the year to come. More importantly I will remember and employ some of life's lessons. 

I've learned to keep life simple. Life itself is not complicated, we make it so. I will not live in the past, immersed in regret  or lamentation. I've learned I can choose how I let the past affect me. I will not misuse the present by living in the future through worry, fear or stress. I choose to live in the present moment. After all, we can't really be anywhere else. I'll live my life in day tight compartments, living each day so as to experience it's fullness and enjoy it for the precious gift that it is. I will impact the world each day by committing at least one  simple, random act of kindness. I will continually keep my mind filled with thoughts of that which I desire rather than thoughts of what which I wish to avoid. I will smile a little more, speak kind words more often, love genuinely, and begin and end each day by making a list of at least ten things for which I am grateful. Borrowing from a great father and spiritual leader in history, I will seek to live my life like a great river, continually running into the fountain of all that which is good, and also live like unto a great valley, firm, steadfast and immovable in doing that which I know is right!

May you each have the most phenomenal year of your life! HAPPY NEW YEAR!

LIVE YOUR LIFE!

LIVE YOUR LIFE!

Live your life and forget your age. Another magical quotation and one that many people need to practice. Ask any older person how old they feel, and I guarantee you they feel and think way younger than their real age. Also, when we get older, we are conditioned to "act our age." By following this advice, unhappiness is the result. Life is short, to constantly act according to what others expect of you is sad. Learn to live in the moment and make the most of every moment. If you want to laugh, if you want to scream, then do it! Live life to the fullest. Live YOUR life, not the life others dictate you must lead.

A PERSPECTIVE ON AGE

A PERSPECTIVE ON AGE

Do not regret growing older, it's a privilege denied to many! This is a powerful proverb to start with, so true, but so rarely thought about. Having turned 58 this past year, it's a saying that hits home very powerfully, and yes, maybe it is aimed at the baby boomers and above. But even if you are 25 and reading this, it applies. Whatever your age, consider for a moment the people from your life that are dead today. How many were younger than you? That's when this proverb hits home, when you realise how lucky you are to be the age you are, and healthy. Consider two people in their seventies, one still drives a car and enjoys life, the other has Alzheimer's and needs to be under 24/7 care and supervision. If you are fit and mentally healthy, I suggest you give thanks and smile for every morning you wake up alive and healthy. A perspective on age. 

NEW THINKING

               NEW THINKING

As the New Year approaches people are in a better, positive and optimistic mood. There's more positive energy flowing and you'll find more people in a better mood. So jump in and be part of all the positive, upbeat energy going around. Sure things may not be perfect, but instead of thinking all that's wrong, think about some of the good things and then take a moment to do a random act of kindness. It can be anything, like opening the door for someone, or helping someone with their grocery bags, or helping someone get in their car or get on the bus. Even smiling and offering a pleasant "Hello" can make another person feel better. When you do a random act of kindness you join the pool of positive energy, you spread a little joy, you help someone feel better and you attract more positive situations. Then you can go one step further, and get rid of the negative thoughts or doom and gloom attitude you may be carrying. For just a day, or even a few hours, avoid saying anything negative. If those around you are being negative change the topic of conversation or put a positive spin on things. If you find you're thinking of what's not going well, change your thoughts, think of what you want, look for something positive, or just think of something completely different. There's always something positive, you just have to find it. So today and everyday this week do a few random acts of kindness, and get rid of the negative thoughts that bring you down. Fill your mind with optimism and think about creating a bright new future. The new year will be brighter by doing very simple and very doable things. You can and you will, when you believe you can. 

DOWN NOT OUT

DOWN NOT OUT

A brief entry today. This is to reassure followers that I haven't quit or stopped blogging. I have had the opportunity to experience the flu the past couple of days. I thought I had prepared myself for the season by getting a preemptive flu shot. Well, there is apparently another strain of the flu the CDC wasn't concerned about that caught everyone by surprise, including me. I'm on the mend and will return tomorrow. Thank you for following! I'm down but not out. 

TIME FOR REFLECTION

TIME FOR REFLECTION 

During this time if year, people around the world are pausing to celebrate events of great spiritual and social significance. These moments of pause remind us to reevaluate our priorities in life. Are the things that were once important to us still as important? Have we remained true to ourselves and our life's purpose? During this time, take a few minutes to sit in quiet solitude and listen. Listen to what your heart is saying. Listen to your inner self.  Then determine to make whatever changes are necessary in order live your life with a purpose and inner peace. 

I KNEW THAT WOULD HAPPEN

I KNEW THAT WOULD HAPPEN 

There was once a young artist who had just received a commissioning to paint the portrait of a local builder. To celebrate, he went to a local cafe to enjoy a nice meal. While he was eating, he noticed the headline on a newspaper that was laying on a nearby table. The headline read,"HARD TIMES ARE COMING" The headline was a little disturbing to him but he continued to eat his meal. While eating, he couldn't help but think,"HARD TIMES ARE COMING!" The words began to weigh on his mind more and more. He began to think, hard times are coming, this is no time for me to be sitting here unnecessarily spending money on a nice meal. I need to get to work. He called to the cafe owner and requested his check. The cafe owner said," you seem upset, is everything okay?" The young artist responded,"hard times are coming and this is no time for me to be unnecessarily spending money like this. I need to get to work!" He paid his check and hurriedly left the cafe. Well, the cafe owner got to thinking, hard times are coming? The more he thought about it the more anxious he became. He picked up his phone and called his wife. He said,"sweetheart I need you to call the tailor shop and cancel that order for your new dress for the chamber of commerce ball. You see, hard times are coming and this is no time for us to be unnecessarily spending money like that." She said,"okay, I'll let them know." She called the local tailor shop and told them,"I need to cancel my order for that new dress for the chamber of commerce ball. You see, my husband the cafe owner said hard times are coming and we shouldn't be unnecessarily spending money like this. I'm sorry." The order was cancelled. The tailor shop owner got to thinking, hard times are coming? The more he thought about it the more anxious he felt. He picked up the phone and called the local builder. He said,"I need to cancel that contract and plans for expanding my tailor shop. You see, hard times are coming and this is no time for me to be unnecessarily spending money like that. I'm sorry." Well,  the local builder got to thinking, hard times are coming? The more he thought about it the more anxious he felt. He picked up the phone and called the young artist. He said,"I need to cancel the commission to have my portrait painted. You see, hard times are coming and this is no time for me to be unnecessarily spending money like that. I'm sorry." The young artist, now discouraged and depressed, went back to the corner cafe to drown his sorrows in some wine. While he was drinking the wine, he saw the newspaper with the headline "HARD TIMES ARE COMING" still sitting on the same table. He picked up the paper and noticed that the date on the paper was ten years old. It had been left on the table when the cafe owner had been unpacking dishes earlier in the day, yet the headline managed to infect the thinking of the young artist and ultimately the entire community. The artist believed hard times were coming and by virtue of his and everyone else's behavior they predicted and then ensured hard times would come. 

How often have we done something like this in our own lives. We tend to get what we expect. If you expect to have a bad experience somewhere, your subconscious mind will trigger the behaviors within you that will ensure you have a bad time.  Change expectations and you can change your life!

VIEW THROUGH A WINDOW

VIEW THROUGH THE WINDOW 

Recent challenging life events have reminded me of the importance and value of windows. When an unexpected challenge or trial comes into our life, we have an opportunity to learn and grow. We are given a chance to glance through the window of our potential future. Will we adapt to life's challenge? Will we alter our path?  Do we need to grow or learn something new? We look out through life's window at what may or might be. We also look inward through a window glancing at ourselves. Is it time to change? Are we ready for what lies ahead? Are we equal to the task at hand. The trials and challenges of life are like windows appearing at critical times that allow us to reexamine the road ahead by looking OUT the window at our life's path. And looking IN through a window at who we are, and who we are becoming. 

RESPONSIBILITY IS OPPORTUNITY

RESPONSIBILITY IS OPPORTUNITY 

The word responsibility can be broken down into two words (if you change the spelling). Response and ability. Broken down like this, you can imagine that it means that you have the ability to choose your response.

Taking responsibility is about living your life without laying blame or justifying. Taking responsibility means that you’re the only person who’s responsible for you. Your success and failure depends on you, and you alone.

Others may help you from time to time. But believing that you’re not succeeding because someone else is dragging you down or being unsupportive is just an excuse.

We always have the power to choose how we will be. When we choose to be responsible, we choose a life of opportunity. 

"HE DOESN'T SAY MUCH"

HE DOESN'T SAY MUCH

One of the most effective ways to maintain a good relationship is through good communication. Most conversations however long or brief usually begin with a question.  It is the quality and type of question that can enhance or deflate a conversation. We often blame the other person for a poor conversation when it may have been our fault due to the type of question we asked. It is important to use open ended questions verses close ended questions to encourage conversation. A closed ended question is one that can usually be answered with yes or no. For example,"Did you have a good day at work?" A question that is answered yes or no. It doesn't reveal much information. An open ended question  encourages conversation. For example,"What was your day like at work?" This requires more of a response and in return more of a conversation. Closed ended,"Did you like the movie?" Open ended, "What was the movie about?" Closed ended,"Did you have a nice vacation?" Open ended,"What did you do on your vacation?"

Enrich your relationships by using effective questions. "Will using open ended questions help you!" Ooops! What I meant was,"How do you think using open ended questions will help you?"

WHAT DO YOU EXPECT?

WHAT DO YOU EXPECT?

Have you ever dined at a restaraunt  with friends and tried to agree on a tip? One friend says service was quick, because this friend usually goes to a restaurant where service is much slower. Another friend thinks the server was rude because they interrupted conversations each time they came to the table. You thought the server was warm and friendly because they reminded you of an old high school friend. You each experienced the same server, but your perceptions of the server were distorted by past associations and expectations of how they should do their job. Are there aspects of your life in which you are  experiencing pain or frustration because of unrealistic or distorted expectations. Are you missing out on joy because of a distorted perspective? What do you expect? 

WHAT AM I MISSING?

WHAT AM I MISSING?

Right now, as you're reading this, are you consciously aware of your breathing, or were you, before I brought it to your attention? Are you aware of your heartbeat? How about the way your collar feels on your neck, or the way the shoes feel on your feet? Actually, thousands of perceptions reach our brains each moment, but we only pay conscious attention to one or at the most a few of them at once. The positive side of this is that we can consciously focus on those few things that we have decided need our attention. The negative side is that the vast majority of sensory input we perceive, we are deleting from our conscious awareness. The reticular activating system (RAS), part of our nervous system, filters out all input we don't want in conscious awareness. Without the RAS we would be in such overload from sensory input that we could not function. There is, however, input that we may be filtering or deleting that could improve the quality of our lives. We can pull these things from being filtered out by taking time to pay conscious attention to them. For example, if while driving you decide to notice all the blue cars in your city, you will notice cars you've never paid attention to before and will most likely be surprised at how many blue cars there are in your city. If you decide to notice the 'good things' in your life, you will notice or become aware of so much you had been deleting before. People who take time to read from spiritual or motivational books everyday notice things of a spiritual or inspiring nature they had been deleting before. One can't help but wonder, "What am I missing?"

GENERALLY SPEAKING

"GENERALLY SPEAKING"

Our early years of life are filled with learning. Part of learning and understanding how reality works involves formulating rules or generalizations. Generalizations are essential to making life more predictable, and they can be limiting  or erroneous when formed too quickly or without enough data. Through generalizations, when we learn what a door is and how it works, we can generalize this learning to all doors. We don't have to learn the concept of a door each time we encounter one. In this manner, our learning is useful and an advantage throughout our lives. If, however, the first time we see a policeman is when he's taking us away from our parents, we may conclude that policemen represent loss, pain and something bad. If we carry that belief throughout our life, or generalize it, we could find ourselves and our progress limited in many ways. 

Are there generalizations in your life that are limiting you rather than helping you? Reconsider what and how you're doing things. Once you become aware of erroneous generalizations in your life, you remove limitations or barriers to your happiness and success. 

THE STORMS WITHIN

THE STORMS WITHIN

We all have times of darkness and trial in our lives. All too often we become fixated on what is wrong  giving no thought to that which is good. We feed our inner storms and complain that we continue to feel bad. Gordon B. Hinckley, a great spiritual leader, once said,"Stop seeking out the storms and enjoy more fully the sunlight." Now of course there are periods of concern and anxiety. We all worry. Instead of focusing our attention and energy on the things we don't want, shift your focus. Turn your thoughts to the 'upbeat', the pleasant, to what you want in your life. We invest our energy into the things toward which we give our attention. So many people seem never to see the sunshine, but constantly walk with storms under cloudy skies. Change the inner conditions. Allow light to break forth on the horizon of your inner being and you will find and experience that your world has changed because you changed. Another great spiritual leader, Harold B. Lee, once said,"Happiness does not depend on what happens outside of you, but what happens inside you."

CALM AND INSIGHT

CALM AND INSIGHT

We each possess an amazing ability to receive answers and insight regarding our lives. This ability was wired into us from our beginnings. It comes by accessing the subconscious aspect or portion of our mind. The subconscious is the most powerful part of our mind. Through our subconscious we have access to everything we've ever experienced and learned. Some believe it also gives us access to greater sources of knowledge. I am simply going to address the process and how to use this amazing ability we each have. To use this ability, take some time to sit quietly where you will not be interrupted for a few minutes. Some people use meditation, stillness, prayer, as long as you become still and quiet. Then communicate with and activate the subconscious and the amazing ability. This is done by asking the subconscious questions relevant to your concerns. For example, you may be wondering what type of work would bring you the greatest joy and fulfillment. Ask questions such as; What is my life's purpose? How can I discover my ideal job? What kind of work would I enjoy most? What am I really good at doing? After asking the questions, allow the subconscious to process the questions. Stay still, calm and become aware of any spontaneous thoughts, ideas, images and feelings that arise. After a few minutes, go about your day and tasks giving the questions no further thought and attention. I assure you, your subconscious is at work. Sometimes you receive answers and direction right away. Most often, the answers or guidance will come to your mind while you're doing something completely unrelated. Accessing and utilizing the subconscious employs a calm period of time or stillness and questions. The experience is so unique and effective. It's a simple yet powerful ability we've had all along but were not aware of it. It's time for Calm and Insight in your life. 

WORDS, LIKE FEATHERS

WORDS, LIKE FEATHERS

Every word we speak affects us as well as those who hear the words. Words have power. This power can build up and edify. This power can also tear down and destroy. Words can comfort as well as embarrass and shame. Yes, we can apologize for words spoken and may be forgiven by those offended. Yet words cannot be erased once expressed. 

Once a man in a small town loved to spread gossip and often speak sarcastically and harshly to others, as well as outright lie to them. He would typically apologize soon after spreading gossip, offending others or getting caught in his lies. He felt the rapid apology made his behavior acceptable. In time, more and more of the towns people cut off association with him. He was discouraged and wanted to understand why. He went to see one of the older townsfolk who had a reputation for being very wise. He explained his situation to the older fellow. The old man handed the confused man a large bag of feathers. He instructed him to open the bag and shake the feathers into the wind. He did so, rather enjoying himself. When the bag was empty, he was then instructed to collect every feather that had blown in the wind. He ran frantically picking up feathers while all the time feathers were being carried by the wind great distances and different directions. Exhausted and frustrated he returned to the wise man explaining that the task was impossible. Many of the feathers were simply too far away, too scattered or impossible to find. The wise man then explained that our words are like feathers in the wind. Once released, they cannot all be retracted or collected. The hurt, the damage was done. 

Let us be aware and cautious of the words we speak. Our words can be as gems rather than stones. 

NEW BEGINNINGS

NEW BEGINNINGS

It has been said that every ending is a new beginning. The end of a job is an opportunity to find a better and more enjoyable one. The end of a relationship is the beginning of a new life and maybe even better new relationship. The concept is certainly true and filled with potential. An aspect of the concept that is often neglected is our ability to choose. We each possess an amazing ability and power, the power of choice. We need not wait until an ending occurs in our life to have a new beginning. We can choose to have a new beginning at any time. Sunrise and sunset are often significant times for new beginnings. We can choose either one, and we can also choose any moment for a new beginning. Perhaps this very moment in time is your moment for a new beginning!

SOMEDAY ISLE

SOMEDAY ISLE 

When I was very young, in my preteen years, I recall hearing people talk about a place that sounded really neat. It was a place of great happiness. Any reference to it ended ultimately in joy and happiness. I thought it must be a tropical place. A place called Someday Isle. It sounded like the place to seek. Years later I learned what was being said was Someday I'll ... It often went something like this: a little boy says, someday I'll start school and then I'll be happy. Then when he is in school he says, someday ill be in high school and then I'll be happy. While in high school he says, someday I'll have a girlfriend, then I'll be happy. He has the girlfriend and says, someday I'll get out of high school, then I'll be happy. Then it's someday I'll get married then I'll be happy. Then it's, someday I'll have kids then I'll be happy. Then it becomes, someday I'll have the kids in school then I'll be happy. Someday I'll have all the kids out of school on their own, then I'll be happy. Well, someday I'll retire, get an RV and travel, then I'll be happy. Then one day on the way to the grave the now old man will say, I forgot to live. 

Happiness is something that can only be experienced in the present. If we don't learn to be happy now, some future event or thing won't bring it.  Happiness is something we learn how to both do and experience. Let go of Someday Isle. Learn and do happiness now. 

FIND YOURSELF VIA SERVICE

FIND YOURSELF VIA SERVICE

It is a great paradox of life. The absolute best way to "find yourself" is through service to other people. Since the early days of mankind there has been this inner desire, a hunger, to know ourselves. Who am I? We want to know who or what we were created to be. The most prominent spiritual leaders all teach that the most effective method for self discovery and spiritual enlightenment is to serve others. It is not to spend hours, days or years in solitude, meditating or reading and studying. Simply, the more you serve others, the greater you come to know yourself. The most successful business persons in the world have all written in their biographies that the key to self knowledge and understanding is to serve other people. It is an accepted truth that to truly know oneself we must lose ourselves in the service of others. 

AVOID DEVOTION TO EMOTION

AVOID DEVOTION TO EMOTION

On any given day we may experience an array of emotions. That is the way it should be. Why do we have emotions? Emotions serve to motivate us. Without emotions we probably wouldn't do very much and as a result we wouldn't survive. 

Emotions/motivations are felt in the body. They can make us feel comfortable or uncomfortable. When we experience an emotion it is for a purpose. It is to move us to action, to do something. What emotion are you experiencing at this very moment. What is the purpose of the emotion? What's it telling you to do? The response to the emotion should be temporary, short lived, after which we return to a relaxed, calm, balanced state. 

When the trials and storms of life come upon us. Lets not take the emotion and make it a way of life. That is the misuse if emotion. We should not be afraid or fearful all the time. Take action to respond to the purpose of the fear, then move on. Fear,anger, anxiety, sadness, etc are not intended to be ways of living life, they are cues to respond and then move on. There is no place for devotion to emotion. 

OUR CHOICES IN BATTLE

OUR CHOICES IN BATTLE

December 7th 1941, 73 years ago, was a day that would be remembered around the world. On that day the armed forces of Japan attacked the United States of America by bombing Pearl Harbor in Hawaii. That event triggered activity and war that would take the lives of so many and ultimately it's ending would take many more lives. The motives and actions of world leaders in connection with this war have been and are still discussed and debated to this day. We see film footage of hundreds and thousands of soldiers in combat. We see footage of the dead and wounded and traumatized. It is easy at times to be drawn into the mob mindset and forget our individual actions and responsibilities. Very important to our own personal growth, progress, peace and joy in life is how we behave individually. That is what remains in ours minds and upon our heart after the final trumpet call and the dust settles. Through it all, what kind of person was I? In our daily lives, during and after our own personal battles of life, it is the kind of person we were that will remain with us and either bless or burden our lives. Even in the heat of battle, personal or global, we always have choice. Let us use this tremendous power of choice and use it wisely. 

HOW ABOUT A NEW FRAME

Several years ago I had an experience that illustrated the importance of proper framing in life.  No, I'm not referring to framing pictures. I refer to how we interpret the meaning of our experiences. Sometimes if we will consider reframing an event it can make our lives much more rich and meaningful. I was meeting with a couple as part of family therapy. The children and husband were frustrated with Mom because she complained about keeping the house clean. It was actually a little extreme. She wanted the house perfect all the time. The rest of the family wanted to relax and enjoy being home. Mom wanted a clean house to express love for her husband and kids. Mom spoke of a cherry wood coffee table in the living room. She complained of fingerprints and glass rings the family would leave on the table. She felt it was so disrespectful to her. Whenever she saw the prints or rings she felt unloved and  disrespected. I asked her to think about the table being clean, print free, ring free and that when the table was that way it meant no one was home. The house is empty, the kids are gone, she is alone. Then I asked her to think about the table with a ring or two and some fingerprints. That meant that the children are home, her family is near and the house is full of conversation and company. She found a new feeling of comfort in a few rings and prints. Consider reframing some of your experiences. Your life may be full of richness you have overlooked. 

CHOICE, OPPORTUNITY OR BONDAGE

CHOICE, OPPORTUNITY OR BONDAGE

We each possess an amazing ability.  You could even call it a gift. This precious gift can bring us tremendous joy, wealth, health and happiness. The gift can also bring burden, sadness and bondage. I am referring to our individual agency, our right to choose. We can choose to obey laws and experience the benefits of doing so. We can choose to live or behave contrary to laws and experience the consequences of doing so.  When we make wise choices, our opportunities increase and so do our choices. We have more and more to choose from. When we make unwise or poor choices, we not only experience the negative consequences, but our choices decrease. We have less and less options. We are the culmination of all of our choices thus far. We have the lives we do right now because of the choices we have made to this point  in our lives.  To make changes, to improve our lives, it all comes down to a matter of choice. How will we use the ability to choose?  Will we increase our freedoms and opportunities or reduce our freedom, creating different forms of bondage. We can choose!

"I CHOOSE JOY!"

It was the worst trip of his life and his wife couldn't stop talking about how much fun it was. In fact, she said it was the best vacation she'd ever had! Did they take separate vacations? No, they went to the beach together. It rained all five days they were there. The husband complained about missed time on the beach and in the sun. She had so much fun! The restaraunt staff were so funny and fun. She watched the neatest movies while cosy inside from the storm and rain.  She also got to read a novel uninterrupted by the issues of life. It was awesome!

I think you all know where I'm headed with this. We always have the ability to choose. We determine our joy or our misery. Our world "in here" determines our world "out there."

FAILURE IS ESSENTIAL

From very early in our lives much of our learning comes from trial and error. Attempting something, failing, making changes and attempting again having learned from the previous attempt.  Learning to walk and talk is filled with attempts and adjustments.  As we get older we can avoid a great deal of mistakes and learn from the history of others. We will still, throughout our lives, make mistakes. We will make wrong choices and experience the consequences of those choices. This will continue the process of learning. Actually, our mistakes are not failures.  There really isn't any failure, rather the results are FEEDBACK. When we look at failure from the perspective of feedback, we learn so much more.  We will receive counsel and guidance from those who have gone before us on this journey of life. Following their guidance can prevent  a lot of pain, frustration and heartache. We will at times believe that we know better based on our limited experience and will pursue a course fraught with pain and delays. At times the most difficult experiences we will ever have are when our children insist on making choices and pursuing a course we know is a serious mistake.  At these times, we must step back and allow for the failure / feedback to occur. As much as we would like to step in and protect or rescue someone from the consequences of poor choices, we cannot because they hold fast to their independence and the right to choose for themselves. We must then allow the process to unfold. The learning will come in feedback clothed in frustration and even deep pain. Nevertheless, essential learning will occur.  We see clearly that for all of us, failure is essential for life learning. 

WHAT ARE YOU "DOING"?

I recently wrote about our ability to choose. To choose how we will respond to other people and situations rather than surrendering power to them by allowing them to Que. our emotional state. We don't become sad, we "do" sad. We aren't angry as if anger were a thing, we "do" anger. How do we "do" anger? We experience the power of our own thoughts. Have you ever been having a pretty good day and then received a phone call with some bad news? You immediately began feeling sad, depressed, frightened some distinct emotion. What had actually changed? You are sitting or standing in the same exact place as before the call so that's not different. Your surroundings are the same, the furniture didn't suddenly become different, your clothes did change to something different. All that is different in that moment are your thoughts. We remember that our subconscious, which leads our emotions, cannot tell the difference between a REAL or IMAGINED experience. It responds to all input as REAL and thus triggers within us a relevant emotion and reaction. We "do" various feelings by creating in our mind the needed data to release them. For example, I feel angry.  I create in my mind images of the things and people related to what I don't want happening. I add the sounds of the people's voices or their laughter. I see their faces as disappointed or condescending. I may also add sounds, posture all the elements in thought of what being angry or "doing" anger is for me. I then proceed to "do" the most perfect angry ever! Pay attention to the thoughts connected to your emotions. The images, feelings both emotional and physical, smells, sounds etc. inventory all your senses. To change the emotion and behavior you are "doing" change the input, the thoughts being sent to the subconscious. This will take a little practice because we have allowed so many reactions to become automated. We correct this by taking it from an automatic response, bring it to our conscious mind and change the thoughts associated. Try it! It's time to "do" better things in your life. So, ... WHAT ARE YOU "DOING"?

THE POWER TO CHOOSE

It's intriguing to me how we will allow other people to determine our joy or frustration. Whether it be a partner, family member, friend or stranger. We surrender power to them. Well, how do we do this? When someone disagrees with you, do you feel angry or insecure? Why? Their disagreement cannot MAKE us feel anything. We must choose to be hurt or offended and then "do" being hurt or offended. Angry isn't something we are, it's something we do. We are "doing" anger. Insecure isn't something we are. We "do" being and feeling insecure. When we allow the behavior of someone else to determine how we choose to experience the moment or the day, we are giving them power to decide for us what we will "choose" to do. How about feeling or "doing" disappointment? Now there's something that takes a lot of preparation.  We must create in our mind all of these expectations of how things will be, how people will behave and what we want to have happen. Then when little or none of it occurs because we can't CONTROL other people, we then get to "do" disappointment. Stop giving the power away in your life. You can and do "choose" what emotion and behavior you will "do". Go right now and "do" peaceful, or "do" feeling pleasant. You have the POWER, you can "choose" what to "do" or "be". 

STORMS OF LIFE

I enjoy watching the changes in weather and following those changes on weather radar. It's amazing to see the radar reveal patterns in the storm. As we watch the radar we can estimate the strength of the storm and the approximate time of its arrival. This allows us to prepare. There are some parts of the country where storms form quickly and with little warning. By the time you see them in radar, they have already arrived. All you can do is hang on and weather the storm. 

Continually throughout our lives we will have times in our lives much like summer sunny weather. Everything is great! There will be times when we are alerted to personal storms in the distance for which we need to prepare. A family illness, moving to a new town or state, car is starting to break down a lot. Then there will come times when life storms with sore trials will suddenly appear. In these times, we must already be prepared by the way we live our lives daily. Then, hold on and weather the storm. 

A GRATEFUL HEART

On this day of thanksgiving in the United States people across the land have gathered as family and friends to give thanks. Parents are grateful for their children and children for their parents. Relatives, uncles, aunts and cousins have reconnected. In many cases, some people have spent the day alone. Perhaps they have no family or are estranged from family. True gratitude knows no bounds or limits. Alone or with family, our gratitude comes from within us. It is having a grateful heart for all things in our lives. Gratitude for a place to live and food to eat. Gratitude for simple things, the ability to tie our own shoes, the ability to read and write. There are so many things in our lives for which we are grateful. It is good to take some time alone and experience a grateful heart. In a moment of solitude consider what really matters to you, what brings you joy? Be alone with your thoughts, alone with your creator and gently, peacefully experience a grateful heart. 

WHAT ARE YOU MISSING?

On the eve of Thanksgiving Day here in the United States, my thoughts continue to be gravitating toward the things for which I an grateful. My faith and family are always at the top of the list. Good health, friends, freedom are most precious to me. As human beings we have wired into our nervous system a protective response known as habituation. Its a function of the Reticular Activating System. When we have been exposed to something for very long it loses its initial impact or intensity. We become so accustomed to it we no longer notice it. Things like the way your shoes feel on your feet, the way the necklace feels around your neck, the way your sleeves feel against your body. If we don't intentionally think about them, we don't notice them due to habituation.  This applies to everything in our life good or bad. We begin to take for granted the good things, the blessings, the people in our lives. Taking a few minutes to consider the things for which you are grateful will restore your awareness and feelings of the those things. When it comes to the neat things, the important people in your life, what are you missing?

A GRATITUDE INVENTORY

In the United States this is a week we think of family and the many things for which we are thankful. Thursday is Thanksgiving Day. The practice of gratitude is such a healthy thing. When we take time everyday to reflect and think about the things we are grateful for, it causes a change in our thinking that makes life so much more enjoyable. A suggestion on a way to begin, take a few minutes and state something for which you are grateful using every letter of the alphabet. An example; A = Adrianna my granddaughter B= bed so comfortable C= Church etc. give it a try and note how you feel when you get to Z.