FLATTER OR COMPLIMENT

Are you a flatterer? Most of us like to compliment our friends, but there's a fine line, isn't there between the compliment and flattery. To see and to say sincere, complimentary things about other people is a gracious custom and makes life more livable for all of us. But as always, just as with money for example, along with the genuine and the good, comes the counterfeit and the bad, and the counterfeit of a sincere compliment is flattery. 

As you go forth in life look for the good. See that which is sincerely good and give compliment where compliment is due, but do not attempt to buy peace of mind, social acceptance or business preferment by flattery. It is a false coin and in time will become your master. 

THEY BEAT THEMSELVES

Today in the United States, the college football season kicked off (began)! There are dozens of games, many of which are being televised or covered on the radio. Earlier today, I listened to a pair of play by play commentators discuss a game that had just ended. One of the commentators went into a long explanation as to why the one team had been defeated. He said that they had, "beat themselves." They hadn't executed plays the way they had practiced them. They didn't stay focused. They underestimated their opponent and had not prepared as well as they usually do. He continued with several examples and then repeated, "they beat themselves." I began thinking about those times we fail at a challenge or loose an opportunity or don't succeed at a significant goal because we "beat ourselves." Often it's not the condition of the workplace or the size of the goal or the attitude of the other person that had caused us to fall short of our desired outcome. It's often not doing what we know we should do to be prepared for the situation. It is also not doing things the way we had planned, or doing something the easy way without gathering the information needed to know what needs to be done. When elements like these are part of our experience, we are not being defeated, we have created a situation where we "beat ourselves." We can learn from our successful and not so successful experiences. Lets do what we know we should do. Ultimately there is no failure, only feedback. Sometimes that feedback will inform us that we were not defeated, it will reveal, "they beat themselves."

TRUE POVERTY

There is many a rich person who lives in poverty. Some define poverty as living below a certain income level. Then how can a financially rich person be living in poverty?  As I see it, here are some indicators of living in poverty. Regularly living day after day with no laughter. Having no contact or interaction with small children or the elderly. The inability to read or not having the time to read. Living without access to music. Going days without human contact and or receiving a hug. No contact with or appreciation of nature. Having a lot if material possessions but having no one with whom to share them. The inability to see the good in others. Living with constant guilt, grief or fear. Having no self-respect. Never having to work for what you possess. Possessing no pleasant memories. Having never done something for someone else without expecting something in return. 

TRUE WEALTH

There are many ways of defining wealth. Some view wealth from the perspective of material possessions and financial worth. Others view wealth from a totally spiritual perspective. And still others view wealth as a combination of the two. I do not possess a great material or financial empire. Nor am I some great spiritual leader or example. Yet I am extremely wealthy. I awaken each day to the smile of my best friend who is my wife. I love to laugh and my wife and I laugh a lot! At times we have laughed ourselves to tears. We both cry while watching Disney movies or tender TV commercials. My youngest granddaughter is one of the greatest joys in my life. When she's tired, she'll crawl up into my lap and cuddle until she falls asleep. When she wants to play, she comes looking for grandpa. I have amazing children. Some of them are step children but they all feel like my children to me. The children total ten great individuals. Each one of them is a good and decent person. They are the kind of person with whom I love to spend time. I have extended family who are genuine, salt if the earth, kind of people. They truly care for family and are there in a moments notice if I need help. I enjoy very simple pleasures and my life is full of simple pleasures. I enjoy taking time alone with my creator and counting my blessings. The joys in and of themselves are the true wealth in my life and I have so many. I am indeed a wealthy man!

THE POWER OF LITTLE THINGS

There is nothing too little for so little a creature as man. It is by studying little things that we attain the great art of having as little misery and as much happiness as possible. 

Life is made up, not of great sacrifices or duties, but of little things, in which smiles and kindness, and small obligations, given habitually, are what win and preserve the heart and secure comfort. 

Little drops of water, little grains of sand, make the mighty ocean and the pleasant land. 

The power of little things to give instruction and happiness should be the first lesson in life. 

THE PURPOSE OF WORDS

"The purpose of words is to convey ideas. When the ideas are grasp, the words are forgotten." Chaung Tzu

Words are the vessels we use to convey feelings and describe the events and experiences in our lives to others. Words have incredible power in our lives. Most of us don't realize that the words we habitually choose also affect what we experience. Simply by changing our habitual vocabulary, the words we consistently use to describe the emotions  of our lives, we can instantly change how we think and how we live. 

WORDS

Words, so innocent and powerless as they are, as standing in a dictionary, how potent for good and evil they become in the hands of one who knows how to combine them. Some have counseled that our words should always be sweet because one day we may have to eat them. The words we choose to use effect how we see the world. It's important that we always remember we choose our words. Lets select the kind of words that are used in the kind of world we desire. We do not see things as they are, we see things as we are. 

ADJUST YOUR RESPONSE

It is important that we learn from our experience. This learning is often from two different perspectives. Just as its important to know 'what to do' its also important to know 'what not to do.' Likewise, in some situations it is best to slow down and proceed carefully. 

Imagine an explorer running through a jungle. He's on his way to the ruins of an ancient city where priceless treasures await and ... Stop! He's just accidently leap into a pit of quicksand. He is slowly sinking. What should he do? Most people would panic and wildly flail their arms causing themselves to sink even faster. But not him. He knows quicksand isn't as dangerous as people think, so long as you know how to escape. He slowly wiggles his legs, carefully spreads his arms, and leans back allowing himself to float to the top. A few minutes later, he's free and back on his way. He benefited more from what he didn't do! Sometimes the response to a situation should be "don't just do something, stand there!"

THE SECRET REVEALED!?

Countless people have spent a large portion of their life searching for that one "secret," that one ancient hidden teaching or method that reveals how to have a full and joyous life. A large number of people have spent their free time reading books and attending seminars that promise to reveal the "secret" to an abundant life. I'd like to share my personal take on this yearning and search for that one "secret" way. Over my lifetime I have read thousands of self-help books and articles. I've purchased and used several different audio programs by the prominent "Guru" at the time. I've attended dozens of seminars and motivational training programs. Here's what I'd like to share. First, if you are one of those people with that yearning, one of those searching for that "secret," don't be hard on yourself and don't be discouraged. You may have spent hundreds or even thousands of dollars in your pursuit. This does not make you a fool. Though many of the books or methods did not seem to work for you, there are probably some or elements of some that did make a difference for you. It has been both my observation and experience that there is no one method or "secret" to happiness, fulfillment and abundance. There are many ways. The way or "secret" method that will work for you is going to change throughout your life and in various situations. There are times when the best way to get from one place to another is to drive a car. There are also times when a car will be useless and what you need is a boat. Sometimes a bicycle will work better than a tractor. In life, our personal quiver should contain more than one arrow to use in subduing our game. Our personal toolbox of approaches should have several tools to use when achieving the life we desire. All too often, we miss the revealed "secrets" to life that surround us or that we may already possess because we've developed tunnel vision in our search for that one "secret" and cannot see what is around us. 

SIMPLE THINGS

Your net worth to the world is usually determined by what remains after your bad habits are subtracted from your good ones. 

We first make our habits, and then our habits make us. We all have dozens of habits, many which are beyond our conscious awareness, things we do a particular way, again and again without ever wondering why. There are a lot of writings and teachings on how to change habits. I too may address the topic in a future blog post. My thoughts today are drawn to the combined principles of change and simplicity. By small and simple things, great things are brought to pass. I want to encourage you to apply these combined principles and experience the powerful results. We all have habits that we employ first thing upon awakening everyday. Many of us get out of bed and go into our self-awareness chamber (bathroom) first thing. Small simple changes can reap amazing benefits. I want you to try something. Starting tomorrow, set your alarm or arrange to awaken five minutes earlier than you  usually do. During this five minutes, read outloud a verse from the scriptures or an inspirational thought. If you head right to your self-awareness chamber, take your scripture verse or inspirational thought in there with you. Again, the simple thing I want you to try is; awaken five minutes earlier than usual, then read out loud one scripture verse or inspirational thought. Do this seven days in a row and I promise,  you will experience something marvelous. 

"I CAN'T"?

The easiest thing to find in your world is someone to tell you all the things you cannot do. 

The two word phrase, "I can't" reveals the direction in which we are focusing our power. When we think or say, "I can't" we are not bringing to light what we are unable to do. We are revealing what we choose "not" to do. The phrase, "I can't" clarifies that our choice in the matter is, "I can 'not'" do or be something. So, for example, I either choose to be happy, "I can" be happy or I choose to be unhappy, "I can 'not'" be happy. We are choosing to be or do, and we likewise are choosing to "not" do or be. We always have some type or level of choice. 

A LIGHT IN THE DARKNESS

It's been said that we all possess the spark of life. A spark, even in the darkest of environments, always overcomes the darkness. Some physicists say that there is no such thing as darkness. Darkness is simply a term we have created to describe the absence of light. All of us, possessing this spark of life, are or can be a source of light for someone else. We are all connected. There are times that through our words or deeds we are that needed light some else is seeking. Then when we are in need of support, direction or light, someone else becomes that source for us. In writing about this topic I immediately think of one of my aunts who is often a source of light for me. Her quick wit, infectious laugh and life's wisdom are frequently the needed light in my life at just the right moment. We are all illuminated by the light of others, and we help light the way for those with whom we interact everyday when we allow our light to shine by simply being who we are. 

DON'T OVER COMPLICATE

A dear friend from my high school days shared a post on keeping things simple. I really appreciated the reminder. There is great wisdom in simplicity. When frustrations come into our lives, instead of over thinking, simplify. Ask yourself the following questions: what has me upset / frustrated? What is it I want? What have I tried? How well did that work? What am I willing to do? The answers to these questions help us clarify and simplify the situation. 

DISCOVERING PATTERNS

Journaling is an activity that some people find insightful and others find pointless. Spiritual leaders, philosophers and wise men throughout the ages have taught that there is a pattern in all things. They've taught that we can discover the secrets of the universe if we will observe nature and our interactions with others. Modern day researchers rely on journaling to uncover hidden truths. Through observation, we see patterns emerge and the keys to life's secrets are revealed. Unless we keep a record of some sort, it is difficult to detect patterns. Our personal journaling, or record, would contain written descriptions of moments of inspiration, spiritual promptings, even so called coincidences that have occurred during that day. Journaling is a co-creative process; it is a way for you to discover or uncover previously unknown aspects and capabilities of yourself. It is a great way to engage in an active process of inner growth and expanded self-awareness. If you don't already journal, try it for five days. It may surprise you what can be learned in even that short period of time. 

NO COINCIDENCES

I recently had a day where I was called upon to complete several different tasks. The day was going to be very busy. In the midst of getting things completed, I was asked for help from others. I was beginning to feel a little overwhelmed and not experiencing much joy in my day. While in one store, I came around the corner of an isle and almost ran into an older gentleman. I apologized and went on my way. Minutes later, in a different store, while hurriedly walking down an isle, I made a quick turn and almost ran into another customer. It was the same gentleman I had almost bumped into earlier. We smiled and exchanged pleasantries and I was on my way again.  About an hour later, at still another store, while rushing to the checkout counter, yes you guessed it, I almost collided with the same older gentleman AGAIN! I paused and then said to him, "apparently I'm supposed to learn something from you or you have some kind of message for me, because I don't believe in coincidences. So... what's the message?"  He looked at me a little taken back and then said, "we'll...slow down. Enjoy the journey. Being in a hurry we miss so much that could lift us up.  Slow down and whatever you're after will still be there when you arrive, if its not, you didn't really need it!"

Wow! That touched me so deeply. First, it was totally unexpected, and second, it was profound.  I did slow down and my day became both more enjoyable and productive. I was reminded, there are no coincidences. 

DON'T MISS THE SEASON

So much of our lives are made up of seasons. We may participate in hunting season, fishing season, football, basketball, wrestling, baseball season, party, wedding season, recruiting season, Winter, Spring, Summer, and Autumn / Fall. We are a people who experience seasons within seasons yet all too often we miss their purpose. Each season brings learning, growth, experience and, if we are aware, lessons of life. It is in the lessons of life that the greatest joy is experienced. Whatever season or seasons you are currently experiencing, please pause, look, listen, and feel, the joy all around you. 

LOST?

Sometimes when you get lost...you find a better road. Don't be afraid to explore new territories, new ways of being. In the adventure, you MAY learn something new about life, and WILL learn something new about yourself!

WHAT IS THE BLESSING HERE?

Today we celebrated the first birthday of my youngest grandchild. My daughter baked the cakes and my wife did the decorating. I remember when we first learned that little Adrianna ( I affectionately call her Peanut) would be coming into the world. It was not under ideal or the best of circumstances. I was deeply troubled when first learning of my daughters pregnancy. Little did I know that little 'Peanut' would steal my heart and become one of the greatest joys in my life! I was thinking today about the situations that arrive as challenges or even disasters and then reveal within themselves amazing blessings. The passing of comedian Robin Williams. So sad, yet more people are now talking openly about the silent and oh so often unspoken pain of depression. The explosion of Mt Saint Helen's that caused unimaginable destruction, yet years later has resulted in some of the most fertile farmland in history. If you are in the midst of challenge or even what appears to be disaster, wait, watch and recognize the amazing blessing that results.  

WHO AM I?

Am I the self-assured gentleman with a winning style, the natural born leader who makes friends instantly, or the frightened heart tiptoeing among strangers, who behind a frozen smile, trembles like a little  boy lost in a dark forest? Most of us yearn to be one, but fear we are the other. Yet we CAN be what we aspire to be. Those who cultivate their natural instincts, who set their sights on the good, the admirable, the excellent, and believe they can achieve it will find their confidence rewarded. And, in the process, they will discover the true identity of him who looks back from the mirror. 

ROBIN WILLIAMS

The world is mourning the loss of Robin Williams. He was such a personable being. I believe we all felt a special kinship to him. He warmed our hearts, lifted our spirits, challenged our thinking and taught us to accept ourselves with all of our flaws, and to laugh. To me, he was a glowing flame in life made up of a spark  of genius, a spark of madness, a spark of tenderness, a spark of joy and a spark of the purist happiness. I will miss him. Tears are being shed throughout the world, yet I cannot help but smile thinking of the tears of laughter that must be occurring in the heavens with the arrival of Robin. Can you imagine his entrance?!

GREAT MOMENTS

Rather than judging or criticizing someone, remember that we are all on a journey. It's the great moments that create a dotted line in our lives. When we pause to connect the dots, we realize how blessed we have been. Watch for the great moments. Enjoy the great moments. Make great moments. In your interactions with others, nature, and all living creatures, create and be a great moment!

OPEN THE DOOR

Every time we learn something new, we are expanding  our knowledge base which potentially increases our understanding. Increased understanding leads to a life of greater harmony and peace. The world and universe in which we live operate according to unchanging natural / spiritual laws. Much of our frustrations in life are the result or consequences of living or behaving in ways that are disharmonic or contrary to these laws. When we learn about a law, gain an understanding, then live in harmony with the law, our lives get better and better. Open new doors of learning in your life. Seek to learn something new everyday. When we learn, ponder and increase our understanding, the laws of this world and the universe become clearer to us. The steps to greater abundance and joy become simplistically clear and accessible. Open the door!

MEMORY

You may not be able to change the past, but you can change how you remember it. When you change how you remember the past, it changes how you respond in the present. How you remember something isn't the only truth, it's just your truth. What makes some memories emotional is not necessarily the experience, but the meaning you created about the experience. 

DO IT ANYWAY!

Just because people haven't found a way doesn't mean there isn't one. If you believe with every part of you that there is a way, then you'll probably find one. There is a first time for everything.  Sometimes in order to stand tall, we have to sit alone. Do it anyway!

WORK

An ancient Chinese philosopher taught that all work is honorable. No job totally outweighs another. We find that many high profile occupations could not function without a multitude of other occupations that make the work possible. Without the people who make surgical equipment, or clean and sterilize surgical suites, or make anesthesia, or make surgical gowns and gloves, etc., there would be no heart surgery. It all connects in a way that reveals to us the necessity and honor in all work. It is our perspective, attitude, and the manner in which we do our work that brings true honor. Great spiritual leaders have said,"Let us realize that the privilege to work is a gift, that the power to work is a blessing, that the love of work is success."

"If a man is called to be a street sweeper, he should sweep streets even as Michaelangilo painted pictures, sweep streets as Handel and Beethoven composed music, sweep streets as Shakespeare wrote poetry. He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts of heaven and earth will pause to say, "Here lived a street sweeper who did his job well."

WAYS TO BE KIND

On a few occasions I have written about the impact and importance of being kind. Kind acts affect both the giver and the receiver. A random act of kindness is a powerful life and world changing idea. Here are somebody easy ways to be kind. 

1) Be kind to your body, no matter what's happening in your life. It's important to take care of ourselves because it has an impact on every aspect of life. 2) Talk to yourself in a kind way to shape the way you view the world. Our self-talk determines our perspective. 3) When you need help, help someone else. That which Ye do send out shall return to you again. 4) Put doing an act of kindness on your calander. This will be a daily reminder to be kind. 5) Think about small things you can do to make someone else's day a little easier. By small and simple things are great things brought to pass. 6) Decide to stop judging everyone, including yourself. 7) Weave kindness into your business plan. Give more than you are asked or expected to give. 8) Thank your best teachers. Send an email or letter to a teacher that had a great impact on your life. 9) Call or send a handwritten letter to a friend or loved one. This may seem a little thing, but personal attention is powerful. 10) Show up. We all know people who are constantly invited to outings and party's but never show up. 11) Listen. Actually connect and listen to people with whom you are conversing. Instead of thinking about what you're going to say next, give them your full attention. 12) Simply smile as you go about your day. Doing so brightens the world around you, even if you're home alone. Simply smile. 

WAYS TO BE KIND

On a few occasions I have written about the impact and importance of being kind. Kind acts affect both the giver and the receiver. A random act of kindness is a powerful life and world changing idea. Here are somebody easy ways to be kind. 

1) Be kind to your body, no matter what's happening in your life. It's important to take care of ourselves because it has an impact on every aspect of life. 2) Talk to yourself in a kind way to shape the way you view the world. Our self-talk determines our perspective. 3) When you need help, help someone else. That which Ye do send out shall return to you again. 4) Put doing an act of kindness on your calander. This will be a daily reminder to be kind. 5) Think about small things you can do to make someone else's day a little easier. By small and simple things are great things brought to pass. 6) Decide to stop judging everyone, including yourself. 7) Weave kindness into your business plan. Give more than you are asked or expected to give. 8) Thank your best teachers. Send an email or letter to a teacher that had a great impact on your life. 9) Call or send a handwritten letter to a friend or loved one. This may seem a little thing, but personal attention is powerful. 10) Show up. We all know people who are constantly invited to outings and party's but never show up. 11) Listen. Actually connect and listen to people with whom you are conversing. Instead of thinking about what you're going to say next, give them your full attention. 12) Simply smile as you go about your day. Doing so brightens the world around you, even if you're home alone. Simply smile. 

YOU ARE IN CONTROL!

It is vitally important that we remember the one thing in life that we can control, is what goes on inside our head, our thoughts. 

If you truly want your life to be better, if you truly want to change, the first step is to believe one hundred percent that you can. We have been mislead into thinking  that change has to be difficult. Change does not have to be hard. By believing that change can't be easy we prevent it from being so. 

When you believe that you can achieve what you want, you set yourself free to achieve it. So learn to believe in yourself, and you will be at your best. What you believe is so important. What you believe determines how you act, how you act determines the results you get, and the results you get determines what your beliefs are. It's a cycle: beliefs, actions, results, beliefs. 

Whatever you want to achieve, believe it is possible and it will be easier to achieve it. You can change your beliefs. In fact, you have changed many of your beliefs already in your life. Choose beliefs that are useful to you. Your beliefs limit or expand your world. You can control your thoughts, thus you can control your beliefs. Expand your world outside by changing your thought world inside. You have the control!

WHAT ARE YOU PLANTING?

There is a law, principle or truth that has been taught across cultures and nations throughout the world and since the beginning of recorded history. This truth has been explained and described as follows; you reap what you sew, you get what you give, that which you do send out shall return to you again, karma. This law has been discussed and written about in the past. Many self-transformation programs, steps to success courses, and self-growth methods have based their teachings on this truth. The various programs teach that even our very thoughts and words are key in the resulting outcomes from this law. This truth is as real and consistent as the law of gravity. Can you test the law of gravity? You most certainly can! You can test any law or truth for validity. I recommend you challenge or test the law I'm writing about here. Try focusing on expressing or sending out love and kindness in your everyday activity. Try expressing gratitude in everything all day. 

Have you ever noticed that people who are always griping and complaining seem to have so much more to gripe and complain about? Have you noticed as well, that people who are always so thankful and grateful always seem to have so much more to be thankful and grateful for? Our external world and circumstances will change when we change. Try testing this law. Begin with the words you speak and use daily. Select words that express the kind of things you would like to have coming into your life. Live in harmony with this law and the resulting life "echo" will bring joy. 

WHAT ARE 'YOU' DOING?

Feelings and emotions are not things that we have; instead, they are things that we do. We don't have depression and anxiety, we create these feelings through what we do inside our head. When you are experiencing anxiety or worry, you don't 'have' anxiety or worry, rather, you are 'doing' anxiety or worry. The question to answer then is, "how do I 'do' anxiety?" This question is answered by becoming aware of your internal experience when feeling anxious. You may be making pictures in your mind of negative things that could happen. You may be talking to yourself with a voice in your mind saying things in a stressed tone. It may be helpful to consider what you would say if you were teaching someone how to do anxiety the way that you do. You would teach them to make the kind of mental images and sounds you create in your mind. The key is to become aware of how you 'do' a particular feeling or emotion. To stop or change the feeling, 'do' something different. It's a very empowering experience and reminds you that you do indeed have the power to make your life great!

RECLAIMING PERSONAL FREEDOM

Personal freedom is the ability to feel what you want so that the chains of fear, sadness and hate are broken. These chains are made up of negative feelings, limiting beliefs, and destructive behaviors. Instead of living the joy of personal freedom, many are practicing a habit of feeling bad. They forget that life is not about remembering and reliving unpleasantness from their the past but about going forward to look at life as the adventure it can be. We need to be asking ourselves more challenging questions, such as;  'How can I enjoy myself?' 'How can I make this easier?' 'How can I make this fun?' 'How can I be the amazing person I know I am meant to be?'

EMPOWERING QUESTIONS

Our brain / mind responds to questions with information and behavior. When we think or say to ourselves, "why can't I sleep?", the question signals our brain / mind to provide answers, and it will! The brain does not recognize negative statements or negations, it responds to all statements and questions as goal behavior. It responds to, "why can't I sleep?" As "I can't sleep" and will create the necessary thoughts and feelings to ensure we can't sleep. The key is to present the brain / mind with questions that prompt desired information and behavior. "How can I sleep better tonight?" The brain / mind will respond to the question as a goal and provide what is needed to sleep. The brain / mind always responds to questions. "Why am I so bad at math?" The brain / mind will give you reasons, thoughts and feelings to ensure you have trouble with math. It responds to "I am bad at math."  

The use of empowering questions changes our internal experience and as a result changes our experience in the external world. Try using the following empowering questions by filling in the blank with your desired outcome. Repeat them throughout the day. Watch and feel what happens in your life. 

How can I ...?

What do I need to do to ...?

What steps do I need to take to...?

How am I ...?

Try using empowering questions. How can using empowering questions improve my life?