WHAT ARE YOU "DOING"?

I recently wrote about our ability to choose. To choose how we will respond to other people and situations rather than surrendering power to them by allowing them to Que. our emotional state. We don't become sad, we "do" sad. We aren't angry as if anger were a thing, we "do" anger. How do we "do" anger? We experience the power of our own thoughts. Have you ever been having a pretty good day and then received a phone call with some bad news? You immediately began feeling sad, depressed, frightened some distinct emotion. What had actually changed? You are sitting or standing in the same exact place as before the call so that's not different. Your surroundings are the same, the furniture didn't suddenly become different, your clothes did change to something different. All that is different in that moment are your thoughts. We remember that our subconscious, which leads our emotions, cannot tell the difference between a REAL or IMAGINED experience. It responds to all input as REAL and thus triggers within us a relevant emotion and reaction. We "do" various feelings by creating in our mind the needed data to release them. For example, I feel angry.  I create in my mind images of the things and people related to what I don't want happening. I add the sounds of the people's voices or their laughter. I see their faces as disappointed or condescending. I may also add sounds, posture all the elements in thought of what being angry or "doing" anger is for me. I then proceed to "do" the most perfect angry ever! Pay attention to the thoughts connected to your emotions. The images, feelings both emotional and physical, smells, sounds etc. inventory all your senses. To change the emotion and behavior you are "doing" change the input, the thoughts being sent to the subconscious. This will take a little practice because we have allowed so many reactions to become automated. We correct this by taking it from an automatic response, bring it to our conscious mind and change the thoughts associated. Try it! It's time to "do" better things in your life. So, ... WHAT ARE YOU "DOING"?

THE POWER TO CHOOSE

It's intriguing to me how we will allow other people to determine our joy or frustration. Whether it be a partner, family member, friend or stranger. We surrender power to them. Well, how do we do this? When someone disagrees with you, do you feel angry or insecure? Why? Their disagreement cannot MAKE us feel anything. We must choose to be hurt or offended and then "do" being hurt or offended. Angry isn't something we are, it's something we do. We are "doing" anger. Insecure isn't something we are. We "do" being and feeling insecure. When we allow the behavior of someone else to determine how we choose to experience the moment or the day, we are giving them power to decide for us what we will "choose" to do. How about feeling or "doing" disappointment? Now there's something that takes a lot of preparation.  We must create in our mind all of these expectations of how things will be, how people will behave and what we want to have happen. Then when little or none of it occurs because we can't CONTROL other people, we then get to "do" disappointment. Stop giving the power away in your life. You can and do "choose" what emotion and behavior you will "do". Go right now and "do" peaceful, or "do" feeling pleasant. You have the POWER, you can "choose" what to "do" or "be". 

STORMS OF LIFE

I enjoy watching the changes in weather and following those changes on weather radar. It's amazing to see the radar reveal patterns in the storm. As we watch the radar we can estimate the strength of the storm and the approximate time of its arrival. This allows us to prepare. There are some parts of the country where storms form quickly and with little warning. By the time you see them in radar, they have already arrived. All you can do is hang on and weather the storm. 

Continually throughout our lives we will have times in our lives much like summer sunny weather. Everything is great! There will be times when we are alerted to personal storms in the distance for which we need to prepare. A family illness, moving to a new town or state, car is starting to break down a lot. Then there will come times when life storms with sore trials will suddenly appear. In these times, we must already be prepared by the way we live our lives daily. Then, hold on and weather the storm. 

A GRATEFUL HEART

On this day of thanksgiving in the United States people across the land have gathered as family and friends to give thanks. Parents are grateful for their children and children for their parents. Relatives, uncles, aunts and cousins have reconnected. In many cases, some people have spent the day alone. Perhaps they have no family or are estranged from family. True gratitude knows no bounds or limits. Alone or with family, our gratitude comes from within us. It is having a grateful heart for all things in our lives. Gratitude for a place to live and food to eat. Gratitude for simple things, the ability to tie our own shoes, the ability to read and write. There are so many things in our lives for which we are grateful. It is good to take some time alone and experience a grateful heart. In a moment of solitude consider what really matters to you, what brings you joy? Be alone with your thoughts, alone with your creator and gently, peacefully experience a grateful heart. 

WHAT ARE YOU MISSING?

On the eve of Thanksgiving Day here in the United States, my thoughts continue to be gravitating toward the things for which I an grateful. My faith and family are always at the top of the list. Good health, friends, freedom are most precious to me. As human beings we have wired into our nervous system a protective response known as habituation. Its a function of the Reticular Activating System. When we have been exposed to something for very long it loses its initial impact or intensity. We become so accustomed to it we no longer notice it. Things like the way your shoes feel on your feet, the way the necklace feels around your neck, the way your sleeves feel against your body. If we don't intentionally think about them, we don't notice them due to habituation.  This applies to everything in our life good or bad. We begin to take for granted the good things, the blessings, the people in our lives. Taking a few minutes to consider the things for which you are grateful will restore your awareness and feelings of the those things. When it comes to the neat things, the important people in your life, what are you missing?

A GRATITUDE INVENTORY

In the United States this is a week we think of family and the many things for which we are thankful. Thursday is Thanksgiving Day. The practice of gratitude is such a healthy thing. When we take time everyday to reflect and think about the things we are grateful for, it causes a change in our thinking that makes life so much more enjoyable. A suggestion on a way to begin, take a few minutes and state something for which you are grateful using every letter of the alphabet. An example; A = Adrianna my granddaughter B= bed so comfortable C= Church etc. give it a try and note how you feel when you get to Z. 

SEASONS OF CHANGE

In many parts of the world the change of seasons is quite dramatic. Spring to Summer, Summer to Fall and Fall to Winter. We learn to adapt to the changes from hot days to cold, dry days to wet. We also experience changes in our individual lives just as dramatic. We will need to learn to change how we respond and what actions we need to take. The most important thing to remember as we deal with change is to remain true to your core values. When you do, you ensure that you are always coming from a stable place of strength. 

LEARN GROW SURVIVE

We will continually have challenges in our lives. These are opportunities to grow and learn. On occasion we will be blind sided or hit directly with something major. When this happens, we should not expect to always win or shine. When hit by something major, we need merely survive. Don't be so hard on yourself. You have survived everything in your life so far!

TOUCH IS POWERFUL

We are very social beings. We need to hear other human voices. We need to experience physical touch from other human beings. Social groups that share more physical touch feel closer emotionally and feel generally more secure. Lets bring this closer to home. To maintain a feeling of connection and intimacy, our personal relationships need to feel physical touch from us. Do you touch your children everyday? How about your teenagers? It's easy to go for days without having had physical contact with our teenage children. It's also dangerous. How about your spouse, when was the last time you touched them? Take just a few moments everyday to physically touch the people with whom you have a close personal relationship. It helps maintain that emotional security we all need and will help prevent a drifting apart in a relationship.  Touch is powerful. It's presence enhances our relationships. It's absence threatens our relationships. 

THE POWER IN CHOICE

I remember as a child living in a rural mountain area, looking up into the night sky with feelings of wonder. What's up there? Who is up there? I felt so small in such a big universe. Being so tiny compared to the universe, surely I didn't have much control in my life at all. What kind of power could I possibly have? Surely the immense powerful universe would determine my success or failure, my joy or sadness. I would learn, in time, how incorrect I had been. We are each an amazing creation. We may experience  poverty, oppression, the horrors of war, disease, abuse, all kinds of conditions externally. We indeed have little control over that. We do, however, have complete control over how we respond to it. We always have the freedom to choose our attitude in any given set of circumstances. We have the power and freedom to choose. We determine our own thoughts. Our thoughts determine our emotions. Our emotions can be hopeful, joyous, sad, angry, happy, excited etc. We choose. I can look into the night sky and feel wonder, fear, lonely or even peaceful and comforted. I can choose. That is very powerful!

INDEPENDENCE WITH WISDOM

From a very early age we seek independence. The joy we see in the face of a child when they say, "I did it all by myself!" This continues throughout our lives. We want to pursue our individual life's purpose and take our own path. All too often we can become discouraged blazing our independent trail because of all there is to be discovered. Let us not be blinded by the desire for independence. We don't need to reinvent the wheel. That work has already been done. As we proceed on our journey, lets remember that we can learn from those who have gone before us. Let us be courageous enough to pursue our path and independence and humble enough to learn from those who have gone before. Independence with wisdom. 

AS ABOVE SO BELOW

There are many religious and new age teachings that reference the phrase "as above so below". Implying that the connection between heaven and earth or earth and the universe is one of similarity or pattern. There are many writings addressing the same. I know that 'as inside so outside.' We can plan the most amazing vacation to one of the paradise locals around the world. We can go there and experience next to heaven in peace and relaxation. That is if we are already able to experience peace and calmness within. If inward we are always nervous, anxious, angry or anything unpleasant, that is what we experience outward as well. You could be in Fiji but if you've brought trouble and contention with you inside, you'll get to enjoy trouble and contention in Fiji. It's not where you are that brings peace and joy, it's what you are and what you are becoming inward. 'As inside so outside' or that which Ye do send out shall return to you again. 

THE FLASH OF INSIGHT

Have you ever had a problem you couldn't sort through? Have you had a challenge for which you did a lot of research and still don't know the answer? Have you dealt with an issue that is still unresolved?  Quite often the answer has been presented to us from our subconscious but we are so occupied with continued study or problem resolution we miss it. Insight most often comes in a flash! When seeking that insight or inspiration, watch and listen for it. Create periods of stillness and quite. Once you've asked the question or presented the problem to the subconscious, let it work as its designed. Then quiet yourself, calm your being, and listen, watch, be. You just may catch a glimpse of something amazing. 

FRUSTRATION

At various times in our life we will have situations where we need or want to take action. Unfortunately, in some situations we will be unable to take the desired action. Unable to accomplish what we desire. Their will be situations where you feel a great need to do something but will have no idea what to do. These are all situations or periods of frustration. It is an uneasy emotion of conflict. When these times come, when these situations occur, stop! Remove yourself from the situation physically and / or mentally. Take a different path for a brief period. Allow your focus to be on something else entirely. This allows the mind to process and problem solve as it was designed to do. You will be surprised at the insights and understanding that surfaces. When frustrated, stop, redirect and allow the mind to work. 

LOVE AND TRUST

From our youth to adulthood we learn about as well as experience love and trust. Love is a most powerful force and is experienced with powerful emotion. There will always be some form or element of attraction that turns the attention of the heart and mind. As respect is cultivated and trust increases the power of love increases as well. This is as its meant to be. Trust is very powerful and essential, however, trust is very fragile. When trust has been violated or broken it takes a very long time to restore it if it gets restored at all. To violate a trust and apologize expecting the level of trust to immediately return to the previous level is unrealistic and honestly very disrespectful. One must be sincere and committed to restoring trust. They must be willing to experience the need for open honest living so that the person with whom they seek that trust can see and know that sincere effort is being made. They must be willing to be accountable to the other person. Remember, regardless of what you think and feel, no one is required to trust you. You must earn both trust and respect. There is no genuine love where there is no trust or respect. 

ONE MORE DAY

We are each on a journey. I think we all believe or accept that concept. Our journeys include various paths we must take. These paths become journeys within our journey. There are many times we must take a path that winds and turns in such a way that we cannot see our next destination. This can be discouraging and challenging. At times the path will seem steep and even treacherous. This can be frightening. As we travel our various paths we must first ensure that we are on our correct path. Then let our strength and focus be on the section of the path we will traverse today.  Let our heart and mind be focused on today's destination. We know that we will ultimately arrive at our desired journeys end but constantly thinking of the entire journey and all the path or paths ahead can be overwhelming. What is the distance you need to cover today? Where will you arrive at days end? Focusing on this segment of the journey allows us to see the wonders and learn the lessons along the way. Remove discouragement by allowing yourself to prepare for and complete just 'one more day.'

FAITH WITH COURAGE

There are volumes of information and studies collected over decades on how human beings work, or 'what makes us tick.' So many observations and explanations  continually fell short and were incomplete until human beings were studied as spiritual beings as well. An important part of our spiritual being is employing and developing the power and principle of faith in our life. This moves us from an "I'll believe it when I see it" mindset to "I'll see it when I believe it." The challenge in applying faith is that we must act on a principle or spiritual law  before knowing for ourselves it's reality. To act before knowing takes courage. It's important to remember that as spiritual beings, when we act in faith, there are unseen powers and forces that launch into action on our behalf. This helps to increase our courage and faith. It begins with the courage to test the laws, the courage to test the promises we have been given as spiritual beings. 

GROWTH IS A SIGN OF LIFE

Throughout my life I have spent a great amount of time observing people, nature and life. I believe I have learned a few things and drawn some conclusions. 

Living things are alive and living as long as they are growing. Growth isn't always visible. When growth is no longer present, life is no more. This is never more valid than with people. We all come into this world possessing gifts that are personally and individually unique. Over the span of our life we engage in a process of discovering, applying and perfecting our gifts. Gifts can be revealed in any situation and condition. This is especially true when we are facing life challenges and trials. When these situations come along we have the opportunity to experience major growth. Adjusting to new life paths or new dreams will require new skills, qualities and strengths. When we work through these challenges and trials we need the courage to be and work outside of our comfort zones but not out of our known or newly revealed gift zones. Seek growth and you will discover life!

"CHOOSE THE RIGHT"

There exist laws / principles that are truths which operate consistently across all belief systems and in nature. One such truth is, "by small and simple things great things are brought to pass." One powerful simple principle is honesty. Practicing integrity in every aspect of our lives in everything we do. Being honest is a very simple thing. Those who have practiced dishonesty or lying for various periods in their lives will tell you that there are a lot of negatives that continually surfaced. They were always feeling stressed and anxious. They were constantly trying to remember their "stories" and had bad or negative things constantly happening to them. When we decide to "Choose the Right" and practice honesty in everything we do, life doesn't necessarily suddenly get easier but amazing benefits are the result. When we are always honest we experience far less stress and guilt. We feel greater personal self-confidence. We experience peace and inner calm frequently. We experience personal and spiritual growth. We have many unexplained positive events occur in our lives. Our mind is clear, more creative and much more productive. When we are honest, when we "Choose the right" joy and peace are our frequent companions

REVERENCE

The experience of reverence is both inspiring and humbling. Reverence is a profound awe and deep respect for someone or something. Some may ask, "what in life is worthy of reverence?" When I walk down the sidewalks of a city surrounded by giant skyscrapers, I feel great respect for those who created such amazing edifices. Sculptures can invoke the feeling of reverence. The most profound experiences of reverence I've ever experienced is with enormous and tiny forms of creation in nature. From the Grand Canyon to the most recent discovery of a tiny chameleon. The perfection and beauty in creation is around us everyday. If we will only take a moment and observe what already exists in our lives and environment we will indeed experience reverence. 

FREEDOM

One of the most important gifts in life is personal freedom. Freedom is essential if we are to maximize and optimize our potential. To become what we are capable of becoming we need the freedom to do so. Freedom does require some structure. We can be free to do as we please as long as it does not impose on someone else's freedom. Freedom allows us to be self-determined. We Learn and grow as a result of the choices we make in our lives. To choose, we must be free. When we move from being controlled and oppressed to an environment that persuades, guides, and informs but allows us to choose, we are truly free!

"LIFE IS BUT A VAPOR"

Today I got to thinking about relationships and how confusing we make them at times. I find it intriguing that as human beings we will treat, much more harshly, those people with whom we have close relationships. We will say and do things to them that we would never even consider saying or doing to a stranger or acquaintance.  As perverse as it may sound, we tend to unload on the people we trust the most. So it's actually a compliment, a reassurance. I think we can all agree that there are a lot more pleasant ways to express the same thing.  Have you ever heard a genuine description of a last hug with someone loved? It's never been genuinely or accurately described because we don't know when that hug is the last one. We all have people in our lives that we genuinely love but unintentionally routinely neglect in some way. Lets all do better. There are precious people in my life and I want them all to know I love them. May we all do better. Life is but a vapor, here oh so briefly and then, poof, gone.  

"OH NO YOU DI-ENT!"

Throughout our lives we get to know many people very well. These people include our syblings, parents, spouse, children, friends, teachers, other relatives etc. We get to know them so well that quite often we feel like we know what they are thinking. Granted, after being around someone for a long time and observing behavior, we may be pretty good at predicting their behavior. Regardless of how accurate we may become in predicting outward behavior, we do not KNOW what another person is thinking or feeling. If we want to know then we should ask them. To assume we know what someone is thinking and why, is rude and often being a bit arrogant. The reality is we do not know. To act or behave otherwise is to treat them with utter disrespect. You may see me standing alone and just KNOW I'm feeling lonely, when actually I'm feeling  humbled and inspired by the view before me. Don't act on self-absorbed judgements of others. It only leads to trouble, offense and the need to make a lot of relational repairs!"Oh no you di-ent!"

IT MAKES REASON STARE!

So many things in life and nature are common sense or basic reason. A plant needs water, deprive it of water and it will die. Animals need food, deprive them of food and they will die. Over four decades ago when I was in elementary school or what some call primary school, we had Physical Education every day. So we got active exercise everyday at school. We also learned about eating healthy and staying clean.  This continued throughout school from 1st to 12th grade. An interesting observation, there were very few over weight or obese people in school. Fast forward to the present. We no longer have physical education in school like it was before. The programs were viewed as too costly and unnecessary. We still have physical education but it doesn't involve exercise at all. Physical education now is sex education. Sex education for elementary school...? We now have 70% of our students over weight or obese. Our school boards and dept of education struggle with determining the cause and what to do about it. Tell me... does this not MAKE REASON STARE?

MYSTERY

Life is full of mysteries. These mysteries can enrich our lives as well as cause confusion. Some become evident and clear with time. Others require sincere examination including visual inspection and genuine deep pondering. It can be helpful to avoid looking to closely. Wisdom dictates that there are times when it is best to take a step back and view the mystery with relaxed eyes and intuition. It may surprise you what comes into view. It may also surprise you what you already know but don't know how you know. 

CHOICE

Our lives are filled with decisions, with choices. From the moment we awaken until we go to bed we are making choices. A choice is when you have three or more options from which to choose. A decision between only two options is not a choice, it's a dilemma. When making important decisions in life, seek to ensure you have at least three or more options so you truly have a choice and not a dilemma. Avoid dilemmas or you are selling yourself, and your life, short. 

DREAM

It is in our nature to dream. I write not only of our dreams we experience when asleep, but of our dreams in life, of fulfillment. We are meant to dream. It is also in our wiring, in our nature that when  one dream is reached or abandoned, we will formulate a new dream. It is our dreams that give us direction. Our dreams give us purpose. Our dreams help us to understand who we are. Do not be afraid to dream. It is our dreams that give our life meaning. Dare to Dream!

LONELY

We hear people say,"I'm lonely." We hear those words uttered by teenagers and single moms. We hear it from people in what appear to be good relationships. We have all, at some point in our lives, probably uttered the the words,"I'm lonely." Being lonely is usually described as a painful experience. It's not the same as being alone. Being alone is sometimes self-imposed. Being lonely is not planned or desired. The causes and definitions of being lonely are as individual as we are. A third grader who hasn't made friends experiences a different kind if being lonely  than an elderly man who has lost his wife. Regardless of the cause or type of being lonely, a simple but powerful intervention can help. Talk to someone. Call someone, text, chat with someone online. The most important step to relieving the feeling of being lonely is to get out side of ourselves. A chat with a stranger, a store clerk, a new person at church can all help move us in a new direction in our thinking and outside of ourselves. Talking to your creator can be powerfully effective in moving out of being lonely. Feeling lonely? Talk to someone. 

ALONE

We all have those times, even days, when we feel so alone. It seems to be even more intense when we are surrounded by people. Perhaps the lonely times help us appreciate more the fellowship of our friends and family. Sometimes feeling alone helps us to appreciate ourselves more. Regardless of who we are, where we may live, or with whom we may live, there will be times that we feel alone. When I see others who appear to be feeling alone, I like to make eye contact and smile. I like to say something to them that connects us. In those times, I am often reminded of the words to a song I heard my sisters sing when I was young; No man is an island, no man stands alone, Each mans joy is joy to me, Each mans grief is my own. We need one another, so I will defend, Each man as my brother, Each man as my friend.

When we hear or see news reports of people involved in tragedy or great pain, we feel a strange emotional connection. We are all connected. The times of feeling alone can help us remember that truth. Feeling alone can be an experience of cleansing, clearing our thoughts, adjusting our vision, clarifying our priorities and redirecting our focus. No person is an island.