Dr. Jeffrey T. Litchford

About Dr. Litchford (click on photo to link with my Facebook page)

TN, United States
I have a Ph.D. in Counseling Psychology am a Certified Master Subconscious Restructuring Counselor and Coach, Behavioral Consultant, Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist and NLP Master Practitioner. I've worked in the specialty areas of personal change, optimizing individual potential and behavioral consulting for over 25 years. I served as Director of Psychiatric Rehabilitation for a Regional Mental Health Center, Directed a Certified Academic Institution which trained counselors, taught Combat Medicine and War Time Psychiatry at the School of Healthcare Sciences USAF and presents at seminars and conferences. I am the founder of Life Management Services, a community social service and counseling agency, served 14 years in the U.S. Air Force then went to work in state and community mental health agencies until establishing Life Management Services in 1996.

HOW TO CONTACT DR. LITCHFORD

  • LIFE MANAGEMENT SERVICES
  • email lmsdocjeff@live.com
  • Phone 615-556-3760

Friday, October 31, 2014

BEGINNING / ENDING

On occasion I have written about the scoutmaster I had when I was a young boy. He was Sam Hashimoto and was originally from Japan. He took me under his wing and became a much needed father figure. I was thinking about Sam today and a conversation we once had while fishing. The sun was beginning to set and Sam asked me what I could see. I told him I saw the sunset. He then asked me what was the meaning of the sunset. I remember thinking that was a strange question but I responded with something like it means the ending of the day. What followed was one of the neatest conversations I've ever had. I'll condense it into a brief summary. He spoke of how the sun was setting for us yet in that same moment it was rising for someone else. He explained that sunset could be viewed as the ending of the day or the beginning of the night. Sunrise could be the ending if the night or the beginning of the day. He further explained that the sunset reminds us that every experience we have in our life can be viewed as a beginning or an ending. Getting lost can be the ending of being oriented or the beginning of being rescued. He taught me that no matter the experience, we always have the power and freedom to determine whether it is a beginning or an ending. We could choose, and how we chose would bring us greater or lesser freedom and power. To this day, a beautiful sunset is to me, in great part, a reminder of freedom and choice. 


Thursday, October 30, 2014

"THERE REALLY ARE MIRACLES"

I believe in paying it forward. I believe in the power of random acts of kindness. Some people scoff at such ideas. They say it doesn't change anything or has very little impact. I learned of a recent example that illustrates the power and impact of a random act of kindness. I know a person who enjoys performing random acts of kindness. The other day while making a purchase at a stop and shop gas station, they gave the cashier an extra $10 with instructions to use it on the next person to come in for a purchase. This was at around ten PM. The following evening, they went to the same place to make a purchase. The cashier informed them that their 'pay it forward' had continued on for quite a while. The cashier then explained that the next person to come in was a young girl purchasing a necessity and could be seen privately counting her change to ensure she had enough. When she approached to pay, she was informed her purchase had already been covered. The anonymous gift was explained. The young girl teared up, said thank you and left. An individual observing what had occurred made their purchase and donated money to be used as well. The acts if kindness and grateful recipients continued on through the night until noon the next day. A woman and child entered the stop and shop. They were selecting items of basic necessity  and counting their money while conferring on each item. When the cashier totaled their purchase, the woman placed some bills and several coins on the counter. The cashier informed her that her entire purchase had already been paid by an anonymous giver. Tears welled up in the woman's eyes, then she began to openly sob. She uttered,"thank you, thank you!" And then said,"there really are miracles!" 
We can each be the beginning of a miracle. 


Tuesday, October 28, 2014

WITHOUT WAX

In Ancient Rome gifted sculptors were greatly valued. Their sculptures looked 'life like' even though they were made from stone. Their work was amazing and would bring the highest prices. Other less talented sculptors would cover up the flaws and mistakes in their work by using wax. The use of wax was intended to deceive the buyer or viewer. Authentic work would be labeled "without wax". You knew it was genuine and nothing was being hidden. In our relationships, are we genuine, or do we pretend to be something we are not? Are we living authentically, "without wax", or misleading others? Living a life "without wax" will bring you greater peace and true joy. You will never know real happiness until you live a life, "without wax".


Monday, October 27, 2014

HIDDEN TALENTS HIDDEN TREASURES

I recently watched a video of an orchestra performing a Waltz written by the renowned  Hollywood actor Anthony Hopkins. He had written the Waltz 50 years ago before his acting career. He was hearing it performed for the first time. It is a most beautiful peace of music! Who would have ever thought that this great actor possessed such amazing musical talent? I began thinking of the hidden talents in all of us. I firmly believe that each of us, regardless of our station in life, possess hidden talents. Gifts, talents, abilities that we have yet to discover. Our life is a journey of growth and self-discovery. As long as we draw breath, we will still have demensions to discover with talents about which we are not yet aware. Why would I be writing about this topic? There are many of you reading this right now who have yet to discover the amazing talents you possess. You have not discovered the talent within you by which you are intended to impact your family, your community, even the world. We are each an amazing and unique creation. To understand and discover more about ourselves it is helpful to spend time with and observe other creations. Observe the ways of nature. Set aside time each day to slow down your thoughts. Listen to nature outward; wind in the trees, birds, flowing water. Listen to nature inward; your breathing, your heartbeat, your thoughts. It is during these moments that we may become aware of a desire, an idea, a feeling that leads to a direction which leads to an action which then reveals interests, talents or abilities that spark a fire within us. A new opportunity and direction. A new life. Are you doing what you are truly capable of doing? Do you occasionally experience a yearning, a sense that there is more to your life? There are hidden talents, hidden treasures. 


Sunday, October 26, 2014

REDEFINE THE EXPERIENCE

Here in the United States, we are experiencing a change of seasons. We are transitioning from Summer into Fall or Autumn. As I watch the changes, I think of how we as individuals experience similar changes. Just as each of the seasons of the earth have predictable and purposeful changes, we too have changes we can anticipate and prepare for. If we take the time to consider the purpose of each season the earth manifests, we can honestly see a real beauty in each season as well. This is not unlike the changes that come into our personal lives. It may take some real deep pondering at times, but there can be found a unique beauty in our life experiences. What personal season are you experiencing right now? If it seems to be an unpleasant one, take some time and redefine the experience until you can begin to see the beauty. Every personal season has a purpose. Once you begin to see the beauty, you can begin to understand the purpose.


Saturday, October 25, 2014

BLACK BOXES

Commercial aircraft carry two flight data recorders referred to as "Black Boxes." One logs the performance and condition of the aircraft in flight, and the other records the conversations of the crew and with air-traffic controllers on the ground. After an airplane crash, the boxes (which are actually orange) are retrieved and the data carefully analyzed to determine the cause of the crash. Air safety experts want to learn from past mistakes among other things so they won't be repeated. 

There are times in our lives when due to poor judgement, lack of experience, unexpected conditions, etc. we crash and burn! It may be at a job, in a relationship, or some other aspect of our life. When these crashes occur we are often left wondering what happened. Wisdom teaches us to learn from past mistakes. Wouldn't it be great if we too had "black boxes" in the aircraft of our lives? An effective way of creating a form of black box for our life is to maintain a diary or daily journal. When we have experienced a "plane crash" situation in our life, if we can go back and review our journal entries during and even  preceding that time, we may be able to identify factors that could have been addressed to prevent the crash. This is good to know for future flights of life. If a flight in our life is starting to get rough, some turbulence, we can review our flight data (journal entries) and possibly identify what's causing the turbulence and take corrective action. Consider adding the "Black Box" of journaling to the daily flights of your life. It could protect or even save your flight. 


Friday, October 24, 2014

BELIEVE IN MAGIC

It has been said,"Those who don't believe in magic will never find it." I agree with that statement. Let me share with you why I agree. Magic can be described and defined many ways. I view magic as being strongly anchored in truth and divine law. Several years ago, Claude Bristol wrote a book he titled, "The Magic of Believing." He wrote about what believing is to an individual. The book was filled with real life examples of extraordinary outcomes for people who practice the art of believing. The human mind, when coupled  with belief and followed by action is and has been capable of phenomenal outcomes. The act and very art of believing brings about powerful results. I'm not referring to half-hearted wishful thinking. I refer to clear, detailed, daily rehearsed and regularly practiced belief or believing. This kind of believing is so amazing that one could best describe it as Magic!


ALWAYS A FIRST TIME

I often wonder how many discoveries or inventions are delayed because of the thinking, 'its never been done before.' Everyday people are redirecting efforts or formulating new goals because they are being told that what they originally had in mind was impossible because,'it's never been done before.' Everything in this world at one point had, 'never been done before.' What you desire to do or create or become is possible. You may be the one to do it for the first time. There is a first time for everything. Do not give up on an idea simply because,'it's never been done before.' Whether it be some world changing invention, feat, or something very personal in your own life, move forward with desire, hope and vision. It can be done and will be done 'for the first time ever! There is always a first time for everything. 


Thursday, October 23, 2014

DRIFT AWAY

I have heard people in stressful situations jokingly tell one another to 'go to your happy place.' They are referring to the practice of imagining a very pleasant time, place or experience in order to relieve stress. As human beings we have the amazing gift of imagination. We can drop inside ourselves and either relive or create a wonderful or desired experience. It is actually a very healthy thing to do. Our subconscious mind is the part of our mind that controls and regulates our breathing, heart rate, blood pressure, muscle tension and more. A powerful and important thing to remember is that our subconscious can not tell the difference between what is real and what is imagined. It thus responds to imagined experiences as if they are actually occurring. When we think or worry about what we don't want to have happen, our subconscious is going to cause us to experience both physically and emotionally the actual effects. Take a few minutes every day to be alone, close your eyes and imagine or relive a pleasant and relaxing experience. Take a few minutes and drift away. It will affect you the same as if it actually occurred. Drift away for a few minutes every day. I have had some of my most spiritual experiences during these times. If you will do this every day, faithfully, for even one week, you will feel the benefits. You'll be sold and make it part of your life. Please, do something amazing for yourself. Drift away. 


Tuesday, October 21, 2014

A WALK IN THE WILDERNESS

There are predictable events in our lives. Events in childhood, young adulthood, in our productive years and the later years. There are times of great learning, times of pain and loss, and joyous times. There will, for each of us, be times when we must symbolically walk in the wilderness. These are difficult times, challenging times, usually life changing times. At these times you may feel helpless, alone, even confused. Your core values may be challenged. These things naturally cause us to become self-absorbed. However, the key to responding to a walk in the wilderness is to do something that will seem very counterintuitive. At these times, rather than drop inward, raise your gaze, look outward and examine your wilderness. It results in a shift of perspective. You see that the wilderness is not meant to be a lonely, ugly place. As you look outward you see that the wilderness has its own true beauty. It provides the opportunity for solitude, understanding, growth and strength. A walk in the wilderness is like a refiners fire. It burns out impurities making us stronger. The increased strength will come with greater wisdom. Do not fear a walk in the wilderness. Be bold, and mighty forces will come to your aid. 


A FLOWER IN THE MOUNTAINS

I grew up in the Bear River valley. It was a beautiful and peaceful farming area in a portion of the Rocky Mountains. Our home was at the base of the mountains. I spent many hours hiking, exploring and just thinking in those mountains. I often saw some of the most delicate and beautiful flowers way up high in the mountains. I remember thinking on one occasion, "why are such beautiful flowers way up here in the mountains? No one will ever see them. What a waste. Who will ever appreciate them?" Over the years as I've reflected on those times in my youth, I've come to understand an important truth. The beautiful flowers I thought were being wasted, the ones no one would ever see were seen by me! I was only one person, but the flowers were seen. Perhaps they were just meant for me alone to see and appreciate. The flowers grew their absolute best and most beautiful to only be seen by me. 

Each of us, no matter where we may be, should, like those flowers, be the absolute best we can be. We should be our most beautiful. We may be tempted to think that because we are in a small town or what we think is an insignificant place, no one would ever see us shine. I believe, just as the flowers in the mountains may have only been seen by me, that may have been the way it was intended. We should seek to be our absolute best right where we are. We should be our most beautiful because we will be seen, discovered, experienced by the one for whom it was intended. 


Monday, October 20, 2014

OH ... I KNOW WHY!

Recently while a guest on the Graham Norton talk show, Bono of the group U2 revealed why he always wears sunglasses. Bono is known for wearing sunglasses at all times whether indoors or outdoors. He shared that he was diagnosed with glaucoma some 20 years ago. The condition results in serious sensitivity to light. It also causes visual disturbances relative to light exposures. So the truth is he needs sunglasses to see. People have speculated for years about the reason for the sunglasses. The way we are wired as human beings, when we don't have all the necessary information about something we automatically fill in the blanks with our own conclusions. These conclusions are based on our previous experiences and core beliefs. Just as nature abhors a vacuum and will always fill it, our mind and thinking operates the same way. For some, concerning Bono, since they didn't have the facts, thinking went something like this; people I've known who always wear sunglasses were arrogant or using drugs. Also, Bono is a Rock band member and they are always arrogant. So, Bono wears the sunglasses because he is arrogant. They were wrong. 

Are there people or situations in your life about whom or which you have 'drawn conclusions' based on information you didn't have?  Oh... maybe I don't know why. 


Saturday, October 18, 2014

WHERE ARE YOU?

During a recent conversation with friends the topic of 'living in the moment' came up. This is a topic I've addressed before and that I feel very strongly about. We miss out on so much of the joy we could be experiencing in our daily activities. Our body is one place and our mind is somewhere else. Faithful people sit in church on Sunday and miss all the comfort, inspiration, and stress release that could be theirs because their mind is already at home thinking about the football game on television or its already at work Monday morning thinking of all the things they need to do. We pass through our day rather than experiencing our day. Living, is learning to be wherever you are.  It's being mindful of the present moment and fully experiencing all the emotion, learning and growth it has to offer. Living, is taking time to watch a sunset. It's listening to silence. Living, is being mindful of each moment so that it adds to our experience and who we are in this whole process of being. Living, isn't something we do, it's something we experience. Until we become mindful, until we learn to be there, we will never master the art of living. Where are you?


Friday, October 17, 2014

WHAT DO YOU SEE?

It amazes me how two people can look at the same thing yet experience something so different from one another. When an ambulance passes some people get a sick feeling and wonder what terrible or horrible scene it's going to. Other people feel a sense of relief or confidence that help is on the way to someone in need. What we see is affected by our life's experience and primarily on our current state of mind. Our thoughts determine our emotions and inturn our state of mind. What's important is that we can choose our thoughts and thus our state of mind. In the picture with this narrative some see a day ending with time past and lost. They see clouds which must mean an impending storm, waves breaking which ultimately causes destruction on the beach. I see breath taking colors in a sunset. I see release from a busy day finally complete. I see hope in a new day tomorrow. I see clouds creating shapes and forms that connect with my emotions. I see waves breaking with a stress releasing rhythm only nature can provide. I see the vastness of the ocean which is humbling. 
What do you see?


Thursday, October 16, 2014

IDEA

While looking through photos today I came across this one of Walt Disney. It got me to thinking about that little word "idea." For such a little word it can pack earth shaking power. This little word, or more specifically what it can represent has lead to the greatest discoveries and inventions in the world. It has lead to the overthrow of governments. It is the catalyst that once it finds a place within someone's thinking, it changes them forever. Walt Disney is viewed by some with criticism but by most he is viewed as  quite amazing. He new the power of an idea. His understanding of an "idea" has lead to a Disney influence and presence around the world. Walt also believed that we, every one if us is capable of the same thing. We need only give room for an idea and have the courage to act. Do you have an idea within you lying dormant? What if? ....


ENJOY BEING ALONE

When we hear the words, "being alone" we usually associate it with something unpleasant. The type of 'being alone' I'm referring to is better known as solitude. When you learn to experience and embrace solitude you experience many benefits. Some of the benefits are; you get to recharge. Being around other people can be draining. Time alone allows us to recharge. You tend to reflect more often. You have time to ponder and dream. You become more aware of and understand your own emotions without the conflicting emotions of others. You start doing things you actually enjoy because you have your own time. You become more productive. Time alone allows for focus without the distraction other people can be. You begin to appreciate yourself more. When we appreciate ourselves, it enriches our relationships. We can experience great growth and peace through solitude. 


Tuesday, October 14, 2014

PURPOSE

A great spiritual leader has said, "A man without a purpose is like a ship without a rudder, never likely to reach home port." A rudder is a very small thing yet it gives steering and direction to any ship regardless of the size or age of the ship. As a rudder is to a ship, so is a purpose to a human being. In order to maintain good mental and physical health as well as experience joy and fulfillment, human beings need a purpose. A purpose is what motivates us, keeps us focused, gives our life meaning and keeps us growing throughout our life. Whether you are young and still in school, at the beginning of your career, or in your retirement years, you need a purpose. You need that certain something that keeps you thinking, planning and experiencing fulfillment. Lack of purpose results in physical and mental decompensation as well as early death. It's a major cause of anxiety and depression. We need the rudder of purpose to have joy in life. Do you have a purpose?


Monday, October 13, 2014

DETOUR



My wife and I love to travel. We prefer to drive so that we can enjoy the countryside and the various landscapes. On occasion we have come upon a detour which required us to travel into areas and on highways we had not intended. Often the detours resulted in discovering sights we otherwise would not have seen. Sometimes detours are beautiful and pleasant. Other times detours are unpleasant and challenging. We all tend to plan and map out the path we intend to take in our lives. The plan may include completing high school, relationships, college, career, marriage, children, etc. For whatever reason, sometimes circumstances may require us to take a detour from our plan. Regardless of the nature, we can learn and grow from every detour. Often we can look back on a detour and realize that the deviation from our plan was one of the best things that could have happened to us. The detour required us to learn things we had not originally intended or may have required us to overcome obstacles that resulted in greater personal strength and understanding. It's important to remember that detours are not dead ends. Detours are temporary. Don't let a detour derail you. There is more than one path to any destination. 


Sunday, October 12, 2014

IN YOUR FOOTSTEPS

If you're a Mother or Father, if you're a Grandparent, if you are an adult who is around children at all, you are an example and children use you as a pattern for behavior. Children are keen observers. They watch what we do and imitate us. For young children, adults represent the world. Children become what they see and hear. Children become what you are! Are you living the kind of life and in the way you want your child to live? A child will learn their fears and anxieties from you. They will learn their confidence, strength and self-concept from you. We are examples, either GOOD or BAD for our children. The greatest gift you can give your child is to be what you want them to become. 


Saturday, October 11, 2014

SPECULATE AND MISLEAD

When I was growing up, one of my favorite television shows was a police drama called 'Dragnet.' The show focused on the work and lives of two detectives. One of the detectives was Joe Friday. I admired him because he would never jump to conclusions. He was known for saying to victims and witnesses, "just the facts mam, just the facts." Oh how we need that kind of thinking today. Most of our nation gets its news and information from one of the major news organizations. Unfortunately, they no longer provide 'just the facts.' The news media today is filled with reporting that operates from a point of speculation and agenda. When information isn't available or missing, the blanks are filled in with agenda driven speculation. We are no longer provided with the facts. 

In our own lives, are we guilty of agenda driven speculation? Do we do as the media does and pass on information filled with conjecture or theory? Do we assume that we know why our partner or family member did or said something? Do we fill in the blanks by hypothesizing, guessing or surmising based on what we want to believe or convey? Lets think, speak and listen with a determination to rely on just the facts, just the facts. It will require being honest with ourselves and others. Speculation is misleading. Honesty is based on fact and genuine love. Just the facts mam, just the facts!


Friday, October 10, 2014

LIFE IS BUT A DREAM

"Row row row your boat gently down the stream, merrily merrily merrily merrily life is but a dream."

This is a rhyme that most children in the United States learn early in life. At first glance it appears to be a simple, cute rhyme and that's all.  As we increase in years, we see that the simple rhyme is reminding us of an all important life truth. We can influence and even direct our dreams by what we read, watch, listen to and think about. Life is indeed 'a dream'. We can influence and direct our life by carefully and wisely choosing what we read, watch, listen to and think about.


Wednesday, October 8, 2014

DRAGONS

We read stories about brave knights slaying dragons to protect a village or protect a kingdom winning the hand of the kings daughter. In these stories the dragon is evil, something feared and must be destroyed. I read in literature of asian cultures and find the dragon is a symbol of strength, honor and beauty. So which is it? I believe we all have dragons of our own at various points in our lives. Some are habits and consequences of choices. These dragons we must slay if we are to have joy or peace in our lives. We also have dragons that are the result of rising to a challenge or discovering an unknown talent. They are strength, beauty and symbols of our reliability and honor. Our task in life is to reduce the unwanted and undesirable dragons while increasing the desired ones. 


Tuesday, October 7, 2014

BUTTER AND HEAT

The farther away we keep butter from heat, the better the chances it will keep its form. If you move butter close to a source of heat, it begins to melt. Like butter, we are vulnerable to the heat sources in our lives that are our weaknesses. It's important to know our particular areas of weakness. If we avoid the people, places, and things where we are likely to engage in unhealthy behaviors, we remain solid instead of melting and giving in.  We are like a solid block of butter and can remain solid if we stay away from the heat of our weaknesses. 


Monday, October 6, 2014

ONE GREAT DREAM?

We hear from motivational speakers that we need to have a goal, a dream. This teaching focuses on the accomplishment of that one great mission. Being here at Disney World, I am reminded of Walt's dream. His dream was to stretch the imagination and for the fulfillment of each dream to lead to the creation of a new dream. Always have a dream toward which you are moving and working. There should never be an end point or final point of arrival. I believe that is called death. Revitalize your dreams. Imagine new and even greater dreams. Keep moving, growing, learning, laughing and dreaming.


Saturday, October 4, 2014

AN ART IN LISTENING

Receiving desired guidance is such a pleasant and fulfilling experience. In times of challenge or decision, guidance is so essential and valuable. Sometimes the attempt to receive guidance can be frustrating and difficult. We may formulate just the right questions for our subconscious yet aren't getting answers. We may seek direction from our creator or universal consciousness and just aren't getting anything. An essential part of the process is listening. If I think my car is making a strange sound, I want to listen for the sound so I can tell what it is and where it's coming from. If I drive and listen for the sound without turning down my music or I continue singing while listening, how successful am I going to be? When listening for guidance or answers its important to remove static and intrusive input so we can not only hear, but hear well. Remove distractions. Turn off the television, turn off the radio, put down the unrelated book or magazine. Listen, just listen. With the stereo off and being quite, I can then hear the strange noise coming from my car and possibly where it's coming from. If you ask a question, of any source, listen and truly listen for the response. 


IMAGINATION

I am presently in the middle of a six day visit to Walt Disney World. My wife and I  are here with our two teenage boys and their best friends. As we watch the boys experiencing many Disney adventures for the first time, I am impressed with Walt's tremendous imagination and his desire to share that vision with others. There seems to be a continual underlying theme with every adventure; nothing is impossible and we each possess an imagination that allows us to make our lives a struggle or a joy. We have the potential to not only greatly impact our world, but we can create a world that richly blesses us through greatly blessing others. Imagine how you'd like your life to be, then don't make it, allow it to become that way.  


Thursday, October 2, 2014

CONFIDENCE?

Our confidence or lack thereof is revealed  in our speech. The words we use mirror how we see ourselves. Ten words that convey a lack of confidence to the listener are; 1) MIGHT- I might do something. 2) WON'T - simply refusing. 3) USUALLY - I usually do a pretty good job. 4) SUSPECT - avoid using 'suspect' anything. 5) IMPOSSIBLE -reeks   of weakness 6) WORRIED - worried about an outcome or result. 7) CONFUSED - indecisive or conflicted on a course of action. 8) NEED - frequent mention of ones needs. 9) QUANDARY - simple and subtle chaos. 10) LIKELY - I'll most likely look for a better job.

Do you recognize any of these words in your daily vocabulary? In your life, today, is confidence an issue?


WHAT DO YOU SEE?

If people aren't laughing at your dreams, your dreams aren't big enough. We each have unique individual genetic make up and life experiences. Our perception is greatly affected by our beliefs and expectations. We need to periodically reassess our beliefs and expectations. If we neglect to do so, we may leave great talent or interests dormant and untouched within ourselves. The image with this blog post is street art Created by an artist who didn't know until later in life of his interest and talent. It looks so real! Reassess, then "Be bold and mighty forces will come to your aid."


Wednesday, October 1, 2014

PRACTICE

I remember reading once about a newlywed couple preparing their Sunday dinner. The wife was preparing to cook a roast. The husband noticed that his wife cut the end off of the roast before placing both pieces in the roasting pan. He thought that was a bit odd and asked his wife why she did it that way. She explained that is how her mother always did it. A few weeks later, the newlywed couple was having dinner at the home of the wife's parents. The mother was preparing roast. The young husband watched as the mother cut the end off of the roast before placing both pieces into the roasting pan. The young husband asked his mother in law why she prepared the roast by cutting the end off. She explained that is how her mother always did it. The young husband, now filled with curiosity, just had to know why the grandmother prepared roast by cutting the end off. He called the grandmother and inquired.  The grandmother explained, when she was raising the kids, she couldn't afford a roasting pan. She used a small cake pan to cook roast. The pan being so small, she had to cut the end off of the roast in order to get it to fit in the pan. Daughter and granddaughter did it because that is how they had seen it done. Although they had roasting pans and the cutting the end off of the roast wasn't necessary they did it anyway not knowing why. 

There is a statement often repeated in training situations, "Practice makes perfect." The statement isn't actually completely accurate. If I learn to do something the wrong way, and continually practice it that way, I will be doing it wrong although perhaps 'perfectly wrong'. The accurate statement would be, "Perfect practice makes perfect." Are you living your life the way you were taught and it just doesn't seem to be working very well? Did you learn the correct principles? Is it possible, you didn't learn the best way to live life and have been continually practicing how to live life in an ineffective way? Practice does not make perfect, Perfect practice makes perfect!